Jon writes:
A part of me wants to embrace this desire and make stronger proclamations about what I believe in and what I think can be known or said about the GOD I believe in and other religious notions.
There seems to be a few things tied all-together here, that should be separate (in my opinion).
Here's what I think:
I don't see a problem with making strong proclamations about what you believe.
What you believe comes along the same lines as how you feel. You feel what you feel. You believe what you believe. You are the ultimate and final judge when it comes to how you identify with such things.
Then you move the sentence straight along into what you can "know" about GOD and such.
Well, "knowing" something is completely different from "feeling" something.
So different that, to me, the sentence you've stated here tying them together doesn't even make any sense.
If you think the two are inter-twined so much, perhaps your confusion will alleviate somewhat if you investigate stricter definitions for what you "feel/believe" vs. what you "know."
To me, knowledge takes some sort of comparison with reality. Whether it's objective evidence or multiple attempts at verification or whatever... it always needs to be tested against reality or else you don't really "know" it... you just "think" it or feel it or believe it.
That being said, I don't see a problem with not being able to "know" much about God, but still "believing" whatever it is you believe or feel.
Keeping those definitions separate will help to alleviate any cognitive dissonance you may have about the issue.
At the same time, a logical part of me realizes that doing this would be rather hypocritical: to have strong faith in good times and weaker faith in worse times.
We feel what we feel and believe what we believe.
It's better to accept your important feelings/beliefs as yours and make changes to your knowledge/rational side then it is to try and change your feelings/beliefs.
(As long as you don't feel it's important to, like... hurt other people or things like that... that's another issue entirely).
Depending on what it is... changing your feelings/beliefs may not even be possible.
For example:
I didn't like beer when I was 20.
Now I like beer (I'm 36).
I think it took a few years of forcing some beer down my throat (go university years!) for my tastes (feelings/beliefs) to change to start to like it.
Vs.
I have a memory from when I was younger about cross-country skiing on silly plastic kids-skis.
I was super-excited and happy about cross-country skiing that day.
I can't even imagine a scenario that could change my feelings about cross-country skiing on that day (my feelings about that memory).
I'm not exactly a fan of cross-country skiing now... but that memory still contains feelings of excitement and pleasure that seem impossible to change.
Not sure if I explained it well, but my point is: Changing feelings and beliefs does seem to be possible, but it seems difficult, time consuming, and you have to be highly-motivated to go through with it. If you want to change your beliefs in order to align with something rational... but, honestly, you don't really want to change those beliefs for other reasons... you're likely not ever going to change those beliefs. You're just going to cause a lot of frustration and confusion to yourself.
The best method is to be honest with yourself about such things. Accept those beliefs/feelings that you honestly have and that you honestly find worthy of having. Change the other things that are much easier to change.