Haha, Chris, that's hilarious.
Anyway, as I said before, I think someone mentioned (other than the topic with WillowTree's threads) about the four different accounts of Gospels. I will try to find it and post it here. Since most of apostles supposedly seemed to have been executed(according to the details you provided), we might as well believe that they faced martyrdom.
Ockham's razor is the way to go! (So much for Mr. Ockham. He ended up working for us!)
Ragnarok