All about Brad McFall.

Let`s not forget Brad`s gentler side. AFAIK, this is the sole contribution to our poetry page.HESTER WAS AHIPPO WITH A FIGURE MOST CONVENTIONAL,
BUT HER CONVENTIONALITY WAS PURELY UNINTENTIONAL.
SHE LONGED TO BE THE LOVELESIT OF ALL THE HIPPOPOTMI
FROM CENTRAL TANGANYIKA TO THE PLAINS OF OSSAWATOMIE.
SHE DREAMED OF CUTTING DOWN HER GIRTH TO FORM A FIGURE CLASSY,
THE ENVY OF THE HIPPO CLAN FROM MAINE TO TALLAHASSE.
HER SECRET DREAM, SHE WOULD ADMIT, IF ANYONE SHOULD ASK HER:
TO BE THE HIPPO BEAUTY QUEEN FROM SPAIN TO MADAGASCAR.
SHE SOAKED IN EVERY WATERHOLE FOR MILES IN EACH DIRECTION,
IN VAIN, FOR EVEN MUD-BATHS FAILED TO ALTER HER COMPELXION.
AND THOUGH SHE DIETED FOR MONTHS, HER SHAPE WAS SIMPLY FEARFUL,
SO HESTER'S DISPOSITION SOON WAS ANYTHING BUT CHEERFUL.
HER CORPULENCE PRODUCED A CHANGE IN HESTER'S PERSONALITY.
HER LONGING FOR A GREAT DEAL LESS EXCESS CORPOREALITY
LED TO A SENSITIVITY ABOUT HER ADIPOSITY
WHICH CAUSED AMONG HER FRIENDS NO END OF ANIMOSITY.
TO HASTEN THROUGH A STORY WHICH MIGHT THREATEN TO BE ENDLESS,
IT WASNT LONG TILL HESTER FOUND HERSELF COMPLETELY FREINDLESS,
TILL ONE DAY, IN A FIT OF MELANCHOLY INTROSPECTION
SHE FLOATED OVER STANLEY FALLS RIGHT IN THE HIGEST SECTION.
THE NEXT DAY, BITS OF HESTER FLOATED UP AND DOWN THE CONGO
FROM BONGA TO BASOKO AND FROM KINDU TO KASONGO.
THE MORAL SHOULD BE OBVIOUS TO ALL WHO WISH TO HEED IT.
IF YOU MISSED THE POINT, MAY I SUGGEST YOU RE-READ IT.
DO NOT COMPLAIN; BE SATISFIED WITH WHAT THE GOOD LORD GAVE YOU,
FOR WHEN YOU FEEL AS HESTER DID, THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN SAVE YOU.
IF FROM THE FATE OF HESTER MET YOU WISH TO BE PROTECTED
DON'T LET YOUR THOUGHTS GET MORBID, OR YOU MAY BE VIVISECTED.
AND NOW, UPON THIS HAPPY NOTE POOR HESTER'S TALE IS ENDED.
IF YOU DON'T NEED THIS GOOD ADVISE, YOUR COMMON SENSE IS SPLENDID.