ROTFLMAO!!
As a nonbeliever of the Christians' 'humans as God's kids' view, only now I find the hilarity of the concept when it gets into this kind of reality check.
If we are God's children, and we are descended from Pliocene upright apes, Cretaceous mammals, reptiles, and a walking fish, then God is... them!! Fall prostrate before the Almighty Australopithecine, Our Ancestor! For we are the Children of God!!