why are bad words bad words?

Same reason "murder" is used differently than "homicide", I guess. (i.e., nobody is going to see one person killing another and scream, "HELP! HOMICIDE!")Over time, certain words pick up social weight because of prior use. After that, they've got emotional connotation in addition to literal meaning. For instance, "n*gger" and "african-american" might mean the same thing literally, but given the prior use of "n*gger", the emotional connotation it carries gives it a very, very different meaning.

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"As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?"
-Holly

I'm not a linguist, so take what I say with a grain of salt. It's guesswork on my part. But the words you list tend to be ones used out of anger or frustration. If you were trying to insult a woman, would you call her "bitch", or "female dog"? Why not "female dog"? In literal terms, they mean the same thing. But "bitch" carries more weight as an expression of disdain, or even hatred.Similarly, if someone is walking down the street, and they suddenly yell the word "fuck" at the top of their lungs, do you figure they mean "sexual intercourse", or can you safely assume that they're trying to express some sort of anger?

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"As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?"
-Holly

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What is even stupider is that it is the actual letters of the words that people find offensive. I can write out sh*t, and everyone knows the word and its meaning.

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Yeah, but tossing the asterix in at least shows an effort to keep things clean, you know? It's like emptying the ashtrays when you have company over, even though you've left empty beer cans all over the living room table. Sure, you didn't really accomplish anything, but at least people can see you care about not offending them. (I'm in my mid-twenties. To me, this is a really good metaphor.)

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Hey, has anyone ever noticed that when "Goddamn" is bleeped, only the "God" part is bleeped and not the "damn?" Is "God" a bad word?

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Still guesswork, but it's probably just what happens when one group censors another, rather than a person or group censoring themselves. The group being censored obeys the letter of the law so they don't get screwed, but breaks the spirit whenever possible.

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"As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?"
-Holly

Well... it's also rough business trying to read reason or logic into the way anyone behaves online. I like to explain internet behavior this way.

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"As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?"
-Holly

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Our American cursing is rather unimaginative

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I think it's best to ask the moderators nicely first, but...Please, admins... may I please engage in some really creative swearing to prove this wrong?

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"As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?"
-Holly

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If you call someone an A$$ hole they take more offence to it then Butt hole(although both offencive)... why is this? Why does the word A$$ have more meaning?

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Couldn't tell you exactly. But I'd guess it's the same reason as the other words. It's just been used in a fiercer context enough times that now, the standard context is the fierce one.

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"As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?"
-Holly