Two things happen to people when they realize God. 1. They are filled with an inexpressible sadness as if their entire life was a facade. 2. After this sinks in, it is replaced with ineffable joy from one's innermost being-- at least in my own experience.
Funny thing, Jugs, that was the exact same experience that I had after making the journey from creoland to atheism. Do you think it might be demons at work?