it doesn't quite say that Earth created itself, but that's basically what it boils down to
Not at all. It boils down to "natural processes created the Earth in a manner that we understand almost completely and see going on today".
the locally dominant religions who are pursuing having their views taught
Why only the locally dominant relitions? Does local dominance ensure truth?
If they provided all of the kids with all of the evidence for both sides I believe they would choose that things that have been made have a maker.
Oh we could probably do that.
"The Bible says God did it. That's the evidence for Christian creationism and a young Earth and universe. Now we'll spend the rest of the term giving you a very condensed version of the evidence for an old Earth and Universe and evolution. It will take many years of study before you will comprehend the totality of the evidence for the mainstream scientific view."