Sex and Sin

I'm not sure where you are getting the notion that if it feels good you must be doing something wrong. Many people who call themselves Christians find that they are actually worshipping a code of conduct instead of the God of the Bible and it becomes a game of who's the holiest of the bunch game. When this happens, you get all kinds of crazy legalisms of don'ts and don'ts.Sex was ordained by God as a means of intimate expression between a husband and a wife within the confines of a recognised marriage relationship. Sex outside of this is considered sin by Biblical standards because it isn't designed to be a casual communial activity. Our society is fixated with showing sex to be more appropriate outside of the boundries of marriage, and marriage itself as a restrictive and repressive advasary to sexual fullfillment.So I'll ask you. Would it be more exciting for you to research for a car, save the money for it, buy it and drive it for the first time when it's delivered, or would it be more exciting to you to drive the thing for a 2 year lease and then go in and buy it and drive it for the first time as your own car but with 30,000 miles already on it? Or would you get even more excited about a used car because it's a classic in top shape but with a ton of miles on it. Even if you opt for the demo model you'll expect to pay less. Why? Because it isn't worth as much because other's have put miles on it. You'll say that you should test drive a car before you buy it and I say the same principal applies to getting married. The test drive is in the dating and courtship in which time you learn about each other's personality and habits. Some confuse this with a sexual test drive which is counterproductive because it teaches nothing about the person you are marrying, it only takes the most special thing away from them that they have to offer once the deal is signed. Their sexual innocense.So if you think that Christianity is sexually repressive because it won't ordain you to go and plug every skeezer that you cross, think of it in terms of protecting you to attain maximum sexual satisfaction. On your wedding night you and your new bride are going to experience something for the first time together. You probably won't be as good at it as John Holmes and Christy Canyon on video, but you will never forget the experience and neither of you will ever worry about being compared to some other experience or person in their past. That is a real ace to have when the tidal waves of worldly pressures come beating on your marriage door and it's one less thing to have to deal with when the heat turns up.I assume you'll say that all of this is bunk and you feel better about satisfying your lusts now with mas variety and when you find Mrs. Right you'll settle down. Actually, all you'll be able to do is give Mrs Right what's left of you because the emotional well is only so deep and it takes a bucket or 2 out every time you do the horizontal hula with someone else whether you acknoledge it or not.Years ago I was told this very same information and I discounted it as repressive religious bunk. I did things my way when I pleased and as often as I pleased. I had plenty fun for sure - Gidddddy Up! But now on the other side of things I can see the absolute value that would have been obtained by following the instruction. I assume by the tone of your question that you will do as I did because I'm just a fundy christian with a freaky icon as a face. Of course doing it the world's way is fun. If it wasn't, it wouldn't be an issue. But the price you pay for waiting is temporal until your wedding night. The price you pay for not is far more long lasting and emotionally costly. Anyone who says it's not is not being honest with themselves.[This message has been edited by Lizard Breath, 11-25-2003]

No chilling required here. I think you are interpreting my statements in a tone that I didn't intend to transmit. Sorry if I seem hostile.I didn't intend to paint you as a promiscuous sexual tyranasaurous rex or something. I like to inject humor into my posts to solicit a laugh but they make for easy targets if someone choses to start quoting them to look like they are taking some kind of moral high ground and paint me as a callous monk.I hope you can gather what I was trying to say around the misidentified humor. If you think that having sex with someone is cool as long as it's a genuine circumstance and you are overflowing with love then more power to you.

Also way off topic but if the individual you are enguaged to turns out to be the one you choose to marry/cohabitate with/or whatever you call a more permanent relatioship, I sincerly wish you the best of luck because in our world today the odds are stacked against long term relationships. We have 5 sets of friends who right now are going through divorces and last year my long time mentor divorced his wife of 30 years for another woman.It's a hell of an undertaking but still very well worth it IMHO. Again, the best of luck.

Once you are sure that you two are for keeps, start a joint savings account for emergency situations and try to add to it once a month. You'll find that in 10 years you will have a nice nest egg built to take a 10th aniversery cruise. The 10 year mark is kinda tough because that's the point where you really see yourself ageing and the dumb second guessings can crop up.Also, take her on a formal honeymoon. I know many couples who put off the honeymoon because of money, always saying they'll do one in a few years. Trouble is, most never get back around to it. My wife and I still talk about our honeymoon, and yes it was expensive monitarily, but a very good deal if you look at it in terms of relational enhancement. If it comes down to an expensive wedding but a frugal hooneymoon, have a nice wedding but limit the costlies like big meals and bands, and spend the money on yourselves for a real awesome honeymoon. After the guests leave it will just be the two of you so show her where you see the best investment.