Except for the 'rasslin part, you sound a lot like my dad. He was a missionary and then preacher that supported civil rights in 1960 in Arkansas. And a very, very good, moral man.
You go, guy! The world needs more preachers and Christians like you!
These are the kinds of questions that pastors deal with on a daily basis (except maybe the mule one). I am worried that if you do not have a firm foundation,
I'd sort of think you would need to be an empathetic, caring person that listens to others first, and the heck with all that other baggage.