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Author Topic:   Humor Strikes back
Omnivorous
Member (Idle past 1140 days)
Posts: 3808
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005


Message 91 of 217 (266124)
12-06-2005 3:41 PM
Reply to: Message 88 by berberry
12-05-2005 11:44 PM


Re: here's one that lives up to the thread title
Whoaaa! Made me reach for my 'Support Our Troops--Bring Them Home" magnetic ribbon...

And can you imagine that baby in a Stars 'n Stripes paint job?


This message is a reply to:
 Message 88 by berberry, posted 12-05-2005 11:44 PM berberry has not yet responded

    
BuckeyeChris
Inactive Member


Message 92 of 217 (266137)
12-06-2005 5:05 PM


I love this one too
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
  
Minnemooseus
Member
Posts: 3725
From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior)
Joined: 11-11-2001
Member Rating: 3.3


Message 93 of 217 (266169)
12-06-2005 6:48 PM


Another favorite "This Modern World"

An archive of Tom Tommorrow cartoons can be found here.

Moose


    
RAZD
Member
Posts: 19890
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 5.7


Message 94 of 217 (266552)
12-07-2005 7:49 PM
Reply to: Message 77 by Chiroptera
11-20-2005 5:59 PM


Re: Chiroptera supports abuse of evcforum.net owner Percy
of all the revolutionaries I have known, you are the most revolting?

(apologies to Walt Kelly's two crows)


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand

RebelAAmerican.Zen[Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 77 by Chiroptera, posted 11-20-2005 5:59 PM Chiroptera has not yet responded

  
Cthulhu
Member (Idle past 4025 days)
Posts: 273
From: Roe Dyelin
Joined: 09-09-2003


Message 95 of 217 (266595)
12-07-2005 9:44 PM


A joke I found a while back and found rather amusing.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The Holocaust.

This message has been edited by Cthulhu, 12-07-2005 09:56 PM


    
Parasomnium
Member (Idle past 869 days)
Posts: 2191
Joined: 07-15-2003


Message 96 of 217 (267098)
12-09-2005 4:43 AM


A brilliant plan!
Carico said here:

ancestors are created through breeding

I just cannot let this one go, this completely new insight has given me a brilliant idea.

It is a well known fact that the ancestor is an endangered species. Most of them are dead, after all.
I suggest that we start a rigorous ancestor breeding programme. Once we have a healthy population of ancestors, we might try to release them in the wild.

We might even try to cross-breed them with predecessors! That would of course involve a bit of bestiality, but if we could just manage to get rid of the gene for talking by a clever breeding strategy, nobody needs to know.

I think Moorhead, MN USA would be a suitable place to start the world's first ancestor breeding farm. Lots of expertise there.


Replies to this message:
 Message 97 by Omnivorous, posted 12-09-2005 8:59 AM Parasomnium has responded

  
Omnivorous
Member (Idle past 1140 days)
Posts: 3808
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005


Message 97 of 217 (267130)
12-09-2005 8:59 AM
Reply to: Message 96 by Parasomnium
12-09-2005 4:43 AM


Creation Science!
Ahem.

As a rare, living ancestor, one who, in all humility, has demonstrated considerable survival capacity and fecundity, I would like to be the first to dedicate my body to this important new program (to have anyone else dedicating my body sounds vaguely alarming).

Howver, I would like to point out that in the interest of maximal ancestor diversity, the program should begin with a cross-breeding cohort of descendants (not mine, of course--ick!). Once Moorhead, MN, has rounded up a sufficient number of nubile...er, suitable, descendants, my time is their time.

In the name of this exciting new branch of creation science, no scarifice is too great, nor any labor too large.


Just because as we dig a little deeper, our notions change does not mean the discoveries are not useful.--randman
This message is a reply to:
 Message 96 by Parasomnium, posted 12-09-2005 4:43 AM Parasomnium has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 98 by Parasomnium, posted 12-09-2005 9:52 AM Omnivorous has responded

    
Parasomnium
Member (Idle past 869 days)
Posts: 2191
Joined: 07-15-2003


Message 98 of 217 (267149)
12-09-2005 9:52 AM
Reply to: Message 97 by Omnivorous
12-09-2005 8:59 AM


Re: Creation Science!
Please fill out this questionaire and we'll get back to you.

1. Do you reproduce sexually or asexually? 1

2. Are you male, female or hermaphrodite?

3. Are you a pure-bred ancestor?

4. Do you lay eggs?

4. Does ancestry run in your family?

5. Do you object against incest?

6. How about bestiality?

7. Strangle sex?

8. How many times a day must you be fed?

9. Do you require a stable, a dark cave or underwater2 sleeping quarters?

10. How many legs do you have? 3

____________________________

1If asexually, don't bother to continue. We'll keep you in our database though, in case we think of other interesting experiments.

2Please indicate sweet water, salt water, or brackish.

3When more than six, we refer you to our culinary division. We don't like creatures with more than six legs, except when steamed and served with lemon-caper mayonnaise.

This message has been edited by Parasomnium, 09-Dec-2005 03:15 PM


This message is a reply to:
 Message 97 by Omnivorous, posted 12-09-2005 8:59 AM Omnivorous has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 99 by Omnivorous, posted 12-09-2005 10:54 AM Parasomnium has responded
 Message 101 by macaroniandcheese, posted 12-09-2005 2:32 PM Parasomnium has responded

  
Omnivorous
Member (Idle past 1140 days)
Posts: 3808
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005


Message 99 of 217 (267154)
12-09-2005 10:54 AM
Reply to: Message 98 by Parasomnium
12-09-2005 9:52 AM


Re: Creation Science!
Please fill out this questionaire and we'll get back to you.
1. Do you reproduce sexually or asexually?

I am true to my roots.

2. Are you male, female or hermaphrodite?

I'm a fast learner.

3. Are you a pure-bred ancestor?

Yes--only breeding was involved, no other method.

4. Do you lay eggs?

In several manners of speaking, I have laid eggs.

4. Does ancestry run in your family?

Positively stampedes--Jones clan, doncha know.

5. Do you object against incest?

Only if all men are not brothers.

6. How about bestiality?

Your place or mine?

7. Strangle sex?

I have never strangled anything but desire, and I regretted it. I hope you will take my contrition into account.

8. How many times a day must you be fed?

With copious hydration, I can forgo feeding for extended periods.

9. Do you require a stable, a dark cave or underwater2 sleeping quarters?

The dark cave option sounds attractive, but it is not a strict requirement: a fur-lined Jungle Room should suffice. Please consider a spinning ceiling-basket--the Dolly Dervish brand is best.

10. How many legs do you have? 3

No, not 3, just two at the moment: I am not an extremist.

However, in case this is a trick question, I would like to point out that I do have a trick leg. Would you like to see it? If not, perhaps your avatar would?

[Groucho_cigar_wag]

Comments: Please keep me in mind. While I am not as good as I once was, I'm as good once as I ever was.

References--if desired.

[\Groucho_cigar_wag]


This message is a reply to:
 Message 98 by Parasomnium, posted 12-09-2005 9:52 AM Parasomnium has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 100 by Parasomnium, posted 12-09-2005 2:23 PM Omnivorous has responded

    
Parasomnium
Member (Idle past 869 days)
Posts: 2191
Joined: 07-15-2003


Message 100 of 217 (267223)
12-09-2005 2:23 PM
Reply to: Message 99 by Omnivorous
12-09-2005 10:54 AM


References
References--if desired.

Ah, references. Yes, excellent. Well, just one question really, and then it should be in the bag: those eggs you mentioned, can they erm... sort of, attest that they erm... got laid by you?


This message is a reply to:
 Message 99 by Omnivorous, posted 12-09-2005 10:54 AM Omnivorous has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 111 by Omnivorous, posted 12-09-2005 6:05 PM Parasomnium has not yet responded

  
macaroniandcheese 
Suspended Member (Idle past 2100 days)
Posts: 4258
Joined: 05-24-2004


Message 101 of 217 (267227)
12-09-2005 2:32 PM
Reply to: Message 98 by Parasomnium
12-09-2005 9:52 AM


Re: Creation Science!
1. Do you reproduce sexually or asexually?
neither.

2. Are you male, female or hermaphrodite?
female

3. Are you a pure-bred ancestor?
i'm no one's ancestor

4. Do you lay eggs?
every month without fail.

4. Does ancestry run in your family?
apparently.

5. Do you object against incest?
i don't understand the question.

6. How about bestiality?
i think there's a video of a guy getting killed by a horse.
it would be bad enough for me to squirt out a non-hybridized offspring.

7. Strangle sex?
i've choked a chicken, so to speak. but not my own. see answer to number ten.

8. How many times a day must you be fed?
don't feed the fatties.

9. Do you require a stable, a dark cave or underwater2 sleeping quarters?
yes. cave.

10. How many legs do you have?
only 2. i lay eggs.

This message has been edited by brennakimi, 12-09-2005 02:32 PM


i'm worldwide bitch, act like ya'll don't know.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 98 by Parasomnium, posted 12-09-2005 9:52 AM Parasomnium has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 102 by Parasomnium, posted 12-09-2005 3:12 PM macaroniandcheese has responded

  
Parasomnium
Member (Idle past 869 days)
Posts: 2191
Joined: 07-15-2003


Message 102 of 217 (267247)
12-09-2005 3:12 PM
Reply to: Message 101 by macaroniandcheese
12-09-2005 2:32 PM


Evaluation
Questionaire evaluation.

Subject: brennakimi

_____________________

1. Do you reproduce sexually or asexually?
neither.

Subject may have to be drugged to induce reproduction.

2. Are you male, female or hermaphrodite?
female

Further info required: nubile? (If yes, notify Omivorous.)

3. Are you a pure-bred ancestor?
i'm no one's ancestor

Problem with understanding premise of ancestor breeding programme. Perhaps brain missing. (Note: may be useful in breeding out talking gene.)

4. Do you lay eggs?
every month without fail.

Notify kitchen.

4. Does ancestry run in your family?
apparently.

Nodule of brain after all?

5. Do you object against incest?
i don't understand the question.

Incest no problem.

6. How about bestiality?
i think there's a video of a guy getting killed by a horse.
it would be bad enough for me to squirt out a non-hybridized offspring.

Cesarean? Second thought, better not try large animals with this one. Note: chihuahua as roommate?

7. Strangle sex?
i've choked a chicken, so to speak. but not my own. see answer to number ten.

Inexperienced.

8. How many times a day must you be fed?
don't feed the fatties.

Note: book elephant house.

9. Do you require a stable, a dark cave or underwater2 sleeping quarters?
yes. cave.

Cancel elephant house, order extra semtex.

10. How many legs do you have?
only 2. i lay eggs.

Introduce to echidna.

Overall conclusion: worth an experiment.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 101 by macaroniandcheese, posted 12-09-2005 2:32 PM macaroniandcheese has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 103 by macaroniandcheese, posted 12-09-2005 3:21 PM Parasomnium has responded
 Message 104 by robinrohan, posted 12-09-2005 3:27 PM Parasomnium has responded
 Message 113 by Omnivorous, posted 12-09-2005 6:11 PM Parasomnium has not yet responded

  
macaroniandcheese 
Suspended Member (Idle past 2100 days)
Posts: 4258
Joined: 05-24-2004


Message 103 of 217 (267249)
12-09-2005 3:21 PM
Reply to: Message 102 by Parasomnium
12-09-2005 3:12 PM


Re: Evaluation
did i just pass a datability exam?
This message is a reply to:
 Message 102 by Parasomnium, posted 12-09-2005 3:12 PM Parasomnium has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 106 by Parasomnium, posted 12-09-2005 3:54 PM macaroniandcheese has responded

  
robinrohan
Inactive Member


Message 104 of 217 (267250)
12-09-2005 3:27 PM
Reply to: Message 102 by Parasomnium
12-09-2005 3:12 PM


Re: Evaluation
This entire survey by Parasomnium makes me feel very uneasy. When I read through the questions, I feel raped and trapped. But I'll answer one of them.

6. Bestiality

In spring a young man's fancy often turns to thoughts of sheep.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 102 by Parasomnium, posted 12-09-2005 3:12 PM Parasomnium has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 105 by Parasomnium, posted 12-09-2005 3:53 PM robinrohan has responded

  
Parasomnium
Member (Idle past 869 days)
Posts: 2191
Joined: 07-15-2003


Message 105 of 217 (267255)
12-09-2005 3:53 PM
Reply to: Message 104 by robinrohan
12-09-2005 3:27 PM


Robin!
In spring a young man's fancy often turns to thoughts of sheep.

Sheep? Well, I never! Plural? That's wicked! That would amount to... polygamy!


This message is a reply to:
 Message 104 by robinrohan, posted 12-09-2005 3:27 PM robinrohan has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 108 by robinrohan, posted 12-09-2005 4:02 PM Parasomnium has not yet responded
 Message 110 by Omnivorous, posted 12-09-2005 6:02 PM Parasomnium has not yet responded
 Message 112 by MangyTiger, posted 12-09-2005 6:10 PM Parasomnium has not yet responded

  
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