Hi subbie,
I wish you all the luck in the world. It is all determined by your decisions.
I was smoking four packs of cigarettes a day when I quit cold turkey.
I decided I was not going to smoke another cigarette and have not in the last 45 years.
Hope you have the will to make it where you want to be.
"John 5:39 (KJS) Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me."