The Return of Humor

One orthodox Jew talking to another orthodox Jew:Jew #1 "I don't know where I could have gone wrong. I raised my son up in orthodox Judaism and the first thing I know he's into this Christianity thing. Can you give me any advice?Jew #2 "Funny you should ask me. I had the same trouble with my son.Jew #1 "What did you do?"Jew #2 "I asked God for advice."Jew #1 "What did he say?"Jew #2 "He said, "Funny you should ask me . . ."

Recently, a long lost manuscript containing the opening chapters of Genesis was discovered that has shed an entirely new light on the creation event. According to this new-found manuscript, it was Eve that was created first and man was made subsequently from her flesh. The relevant passages:"When God formed Eve from the earth, He fashioned her with three breasts.""Eve, not happy with the asthetics of this arrangement, petitioned God to remove the middle one, and God agreed and granted her request.""Then saith God, 'Now, what am I supposed to make out of this useless boob . .?'"

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Originally posted by Mammuthus

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. . . so I will now just address everyone as dilweeds until someone tells me that it could be construed as hate speech against plants.

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{chuckle} . . that was funny and reminded me of an exchange I heard recently:Person #1 > "I'm a vegetarian."Person #2 > "Oh, an animal lover, huh?"Person #1 > "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals."Person #2 > "You're not?"Person #1 > "No, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."

One of my favorites, for anyone who hasn't heard it yet:A man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, "Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you -- according to our records, you really didn't do anything particularly good or bad in your life. We're not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?"The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, "Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of outlaw bikers. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the bikers. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!""Wow, I'm impressed," St. Peter responded, "When did this happen?""About two minutes ago," came the reply.

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MrHambre:

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It's not often I put down the bong and type with both hands . . ."

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FYI, it is a bhang pipe, not a "bong". It seriously grieves me that you, of all people, would propagate this fictional impression which replaces actual data. Thus contributing to the denigration of alternative consciousness afficionados en masse.What's next? Crushingly oppressive and inequitable marijuana legislation?Amlodhi

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Originally posted by Born2Preach

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. . . is this more fun than telling jokes or what?

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I thought we were telling jokes. Or, at least, emulating the Platonic exemplar of being "not quite serious".AmlodhiThis message has been edited by Amlodhi, 08-10-2004 08:27 PM