If there was a "cure" for homosexuality right now I would "choose" to remain a lesbian.
Can I ask somewhat of a personal question regarding your sexuality? Feel free not to answer if it is too personal or if you simply don't feel comfortable answering.
As a lesbian, I imagine you've had these feelings for members of the same sex since you were a little girl, even if you couldn't fully understand them.
Was there ever a time you felt attracted to members of the opposite sex? If so, was it fleeting? Because I think everyone has the ability to, whether gay or straight, recognize if someone is attractive. It doesn't mean they desire them, it just means they can recognize why someone of the opposite sex would be attracted to them. If you were ever attracted to a man, was it more like that?
I guess what I'm trying to ask is, do you have the ability to understand how a straight woman could be attracted to a man, even though you may not feel that same desire within you?
As well, in lesbian relationships, there seems to be some very defined roles in the form of submissive or dominant roles. (Not always, I'm sure, but enough to notice.) How are these roles assigned? I don't mean that they are contrived, but I guess I want to know if they are based off of someone's natural personality.
I guess one thing that never made sense to me about homosexuality is that I noticed that in many, many cases, a male will be attracted to an effeminate male, and a female will be attracted to a female with more masculine attributes.
So when I was younger, I remember asking myself, "Well, if they are attracted to qualities that predominate the opposite sex, why then the attraction to the same sex?"
It made me wonder if some of them had some latent, unresolved issues with members of the opposite sex. For instance, when I was in the Navy I worked with a lesbian. A really cute and sweet girl. Because she was in the military, she didn't broadcast her sexuality, but in a safe group of people, myself included, she felt trusting enough to divulge that information.
Anyhow, we would spend hours together on post. Obviously in that time we talked about a lot of different things. It turns out that she had a string of bad relationships with men, her brother and father died when she was young, etc. Later on she ended up sleeping with some of our fellow co-workers -- two men.
I began to wonder if she wasn't actually a lesbian, but was actually just hurt by members of the opposite sex, and so she contrived this alter-ego, if you will, to compensate for the pain she felt.
Before I go on, I am not suggesting that you suffer from some delusion, so please don't think I am suggesting that. What I am asking is, have you ever met a lesbian where you in fact questioned their actual sexuality? Did you ever suspect that maybe they were straight, but were for whatever reason, hurt or let down by men, and sought comfort with women?
Does that make any sense? If not I can clarify.
And look here, sister. These aren't loaded questions. I'm just being inquisitive. I'm just trying to understand your point-of-view.
Again, if it is too personal, feel free not answering it.
“I know where I am and who I am. I'm on the brink of disillusionment, on the eve of bitter sweet. I'm perpetually one step away from either collapse or rebirth. I am exactly where I need to be. Either way I go towards rebirth, for a total collapse often brings a rebirth." -Andrew Jaramillo
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