I will leave it to your imagination to work out how we establish which one of us is the superior god.
You cannot leave such a decision to one of the interested parties, even if they are gods.
I, on the other hand, being merely mortal and independent of such interests do have the most perfect contest.
wanking himself into blissful oblivion
And ya gotta do it on your own. No help from Hera, Aphrodite, George, no help or porno of any kind. Completely on your own psyche and volition.
First one to fill a 5-gallon bottle.