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Author
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Topic: Humour VII
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 800 of 1042 (699111)
05-14-2013 1:32 PM
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Reply to: Message 792 by Coyote
05-13-2013 9:45 PM
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Re: Oh, Republicans, You Are Funny
Coyote writes: ... politically-inspired inaction....
There's no inaction like inspired inaction, spurred on by enthusiastic apathy and prompt procrastination.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 792 by Coyote, posted 05-13-2013 9:45 PM | | Coyote has not replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 801 by Omnivorous, posted 05-15-2013 6:05 PM | | ringo has seen this message but not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Re: Oh, Republicans, You Are Funny
Omnivorous writes: Ever since, I have endeavored to leave trace evidence of wrongdoing in order to protect myself.
At one time or another I have worked for the Post Office and the RCMP. Both of them fingerprinted me and both of them, in the true spirit of bureaucracy, managed to lose my fingerprint records. The RCMP lost them twice. The third time they fingerprinted me, the officer told me that he couldn't find any ridges on my fingertips. (I mentioned that I sometimes do carpentry/woodwork so they might have been worn away by handling rough lumber and/or sandpaper.) So I might have been a master criminal - until DNA was invented.
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 805 by Omnivorous, posted 05-16-2013 6:24 PM | | ringo has seen this message but not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 806 of 1042 (699318)
05-17-2013 12:35 PM
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A new motto for creationists
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Safety first.
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 807 by AZPaul3, posted 05-17-2013 8:03 PM | | ringo has seen this message but not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 823 of 1042 (701246)
06-14-2013 12:32 PM
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Reply to: Message 821 by RAZD
06-14-2013 12:17 PM
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RAZD writes: that's one way to skirt the issue ...
Yes, they certainly kilt that rule.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 821 by RAZD, posted 06-14-2013 12:17 PM | | RAZD has seen this message but not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 828 of 1042 (701675)
06-23-2013 5:43 PM
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A travelling salesman stopped at a farm and as he was chatting with the farmer, a pig drove a tractor into the yard pulling a cultivator. As the salesman watched, the pig unhitched the cultivator and drove the tractor into the shed, then came out and went into the house. "That's quite a pig," the salesman commented. "Yep," the farmer agreed, "He does most of the field work, he repairs all of the equipment and he does the books too." "Amazing." The salesman shook his head. "I couldn't help but notice that he has a wooden leg." "Yep," the farmer nodded. "When you have a good pig like that, you don't want to eat him all at once."
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 833 of 1042 (702647)
07-10-2013 1:34 PM
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Carpooling
A group of [insert ethnic stereotype here] decided to spend the evening celebrating, so they piled into the car and headed for town. As they approached civilization, they noticed a sign that said, "Maximum 30," so they pulled over and ten of them got out.
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 834 by jar, posted 07-10-2013 1:54 PM | | ringo has seen this message but not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Re: Alien abductions
Catholic Scientist writes: Bill Hicks
He looks familiar.  (I'm not surprised that Alabamians go to a UFO sighting armed. Most Americans go to the supermarket armed, don't they?)
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 850 by onifre, posted 07-31-2013 12:35 AM | | ringo has replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 848 of 1042 (703717)
07-28-2013 3:50 PM
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You know you're in Canada when...
There are security guards at the public library but not at the bank. I guess we have a more intellectual criminal element than other nations.
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 851 of 1042 (703957)
07-31-2013 12:51 PM
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Reply to: Message 850 by onifre
07-31-2013 12:35 AM
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Re: Alien abductions
onifre writes: I speak of course of Wallmart - the one stop shopping for food, clothing and guns. It's like a zombie apocalypse refuge.
I'll keep that in mind. It's only a hundred miles to the border. ABE: I don't think you can even get a pellet gun at Walmart in Canada. You have to go to Canadian Tire. Edited by ringo, : Aded zinger.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 850 by onifre, posted 07-31-2013 12:35 AM | | onifre has not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Re: Crank Of The Week
quote:
Miss Educated Environmental Scientist
I saw the pageant on TV. The labcoat competition was disappointing.
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 896 of 1042 (706911)
09-19-2013 12:20 PM
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Reply to: Message 892 by Percy
09-19-2013 8:27 AM
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Re: Bohemian Science
A true renaissance man. That was worth untangling my earphones for.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 892 by Percy, posted 09-19-2013 8:27 AM | | Percy has seen this message but not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 900 of 1042 (707552)
09-28-2013 12:33 PM
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Reply to: Message 899 by xongsmith
09-28-2013 12:21 PM
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Re: Humour posts neck & neck
xongsmith writes: What kind of humour thread would it be if our resident standup wasn't winning?
I take that sitting down.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 899 by xongsmith, posted 09-28-2013 12:21 PM | | xongsmith has not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 907 of 1042 (707616)
09-29-2013 2:45 PM
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Reply to: Message 905 by Faith
09-29-2013 1:43 PM
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Faith writes: Just the usual lie that creationists deny MICROevolution.
What's the difference between a microscope and a telescope?
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 905 by Faith, posted 09-29-2013 1:43 PM | | Faith has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 908 by Faith, posted 09-29-2013 2:58 PM | | ringo has replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 909 of 1042 (707621)
09-29-2013 3:15 PM
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Reply to: Message 908 by Faith
09-29-2013 2:58 PM
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Faith writes: There's a rather large difference, actually, what's your point?
Really? A tube with lenses at both ends - which one is that? The differences are in the details, not the fundamentals.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 908 by Faith, posted 09-29-2013 2:58 PM | | Faith has not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 440 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 913 of 1042 (707631)
09-29-2013 5:24 PM
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Reply to: Message 911 by Faith
09-29-2013 5:11 PM
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Faith writes: Uh huh, that's YOUR point of view, my point was that you ignore your opponents' point of view.
I'm looking at you through the big end of a telescope.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 911 by Faith, posted 09-29-2013 5:11 PM | | Faith has not replied |
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