You say the procedure is "the last thing we wanted to do" and that just indicates the difficult ethical problems this entire issue involves.
The most difficult that I have ever had to face but ethical problems are personal in nature. Our ethics are a summary of the choices we make and having options restricted by legislation does not make one a more ethical person.
I don't know what to say really. I am grateful, so to speak, for having had the option of the grim choice as it was the least detestable of all. The moral calculus that brought me to that conclusion belongs to me alone. Isn't that what ethical behaviour is all about?