We probably agree on more than you might realize! But I do have some general issues with the idea that we can meaningfully express in human terms, details of our relationship with God, with sufficient accuracy to regard them as strictly normative.
Predestination is a very very human term, because it is related to time, which God is beyond. The acts of creation and judgement cannot be separate to God, but must be indivisible - one and the same act, because He is unchanging and eternal. Creation, offering of love, our response, His response to our response - these are all one.
In this sense, God's judgement is not a reaction to human sin as it happens, but an uttering forth of an eternal truth, "his will". This is why it may seem unfair - we think we change, but that eternal truth does not change in relationship to us, because the result of our changing is already part of that utterance, even before we are aware of it.