Obituaries

Dan Carroll and Mr. Hambre were found dead in an apparent double-homicide Monday morning, somewhere in the region of the betelgeuse system. While Carroll seems to have finally defeated Hambre, by mastering his rage and reaching 'super-cartoonist' level 1, Hambre managed to set off a chain reaction in the planetary core with his death-throes, destroying all life for light years around.Spokesmen for the Capsule Corporation and the planet Namek could not be reached for commment.

I didn't wanna crush her, but she tried to pass herself off as my precious Eliza. That just ain't the kinda thing you forgive.

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"It isn't faith that makes good science, it's curiosity."
-Professor Barnhard, The Day the Earth Stood Still