Obituaries

Sadly, EvC regular Rei passed away in what doctors say was a case of posting induced Turette's Syndrome. In her last message of 500 (in just two minutes) responding to Fred Williams, she ended with "truncation, GA, logic, selection, F&%k, S?%t, program, whoop whoop whoop"
To which Fred responded "I am watching Caddyshack until next April so I will get back to you then" which may have ultimately lead to Rei's head exploding. It took some time for doctors to piece together the cause of this tragedy as an overwhelmed Moose had to sift through thousands of posts to supply investigators with, though he found time to post a thread called "EvC posting quality sucks in October, everybody stop".Pastor Brad McFall gave a stirring homage to Rei closing with "Rei's vector and Provines nipples were no chicken on the Ph.D. highway when the hospital served donutes Einsteins condensation." Syamsu closed the ceremony by telling everyone to go away.

Not surprisingly, John followed closely behind with a crown of thorns stolen from a "build-your-own-crucifiction-scene" kit at a shopping mall in Texas and a cheap blanket that he had drawn an outline of a man on using spam so that nobody could identify the substance...he also brought several hammers and a bucket of nails...in case Brian missed.[This message has been edited by Mammuthus, 10-15-2003]

In related news, the makers of "Big Gulp" and "Big Gulp" related products such as the Patriot University sex doll mascot "Kents Whorevind" went bankrupt today. In a statement from Goldman-Sachs spokesman Rip U. Off, poor education standards were the given cause for the sell off "When guys like Skeptic are teaching students, how can we recommend investing in products that require you to think and drink at the same time?" However, Jack, another associate at Goldman-Sachs and brother of Rip noted "At this time we can fully recommend investing in EvC as ironically, at the exact time of the Big Gulp incident, the signal to noise ratio at EvC has greatly improved."

Following a spastic outburst in the EvC Free for All, demonologist and flatulance expert Stephen Fretwell decided to show all the Evilutionists that his Hypothetico-Deductive "science" was indeed an alternative to Popper's H-D and methodological naturalism. Having been goaded by Mammuthus, Percy, and holmes to provide evidence for his assertions, the straw that broke the camels back was Mr. Hambre's insistance that Kid Rock can sing. Armed with a bottle of gin, a rope, a copy of the bible, a digital camera, a can of Beefaroni and a lighter, Dr. Fretwell decided to raise the plausibility from 0.6 to 0.61 that demons exist and that farts are evidence for them. Taking a swig from the gin, Dr. Fretwell used the rope to gain access to the area of the local zoo housing the zoo's sole tapir. Reasoning that since tapirs look kind of funny, they must be possessed by demons (which incidentally, just thinking this raises the plausibility from 0.6 to 0.65), Dr. Fretwell (being short and stout), stood on the bible to gain a better view into the demon escape orifice or DEO of the Tapir (not to be confused with Ronny James DIO though both are known to make funny sounds). After waiting for hours and not witnessing any demons, Dr. Fretwell opened the can of Beefaroni and fed it to the tapir. After noticing a stink Dr. Fretwell wiped his upper lip..the stink remained so he gleefully approached the DEO again. However, it was rather dark by now so he used the lighter to get a better look. The combination of the tapirs Beefaroni induced wind, the gin on Fretwell's breathe and fire lead to a great explosion which burned the tapir's DEO and caused the tapir to kick backwards violently. Dr. Fretwell was thrown into the neighboring peccary cage where he was consumed by the perpetually angry suids. The flying digital camera was inadvertently activated. When examined by police, the last image on the digital camera was a picture of a poster announcing a Kid Rock concert. So the late Stephen ben Yeshua while failing to prove the existence demons, did raise Mr.Hambre's hypothesis that Kid Rock can sing from 0 to 0.1. Go figure.