But I sense a more significant position in your post.
I'm glad you found it significant.
I get the impression that quite a few EvC members have gone through similar crises of faith. Some have chosen atheism. Others have found a new understanding of God. I don't think this is ever an easy transition.
Anyway, my best wishes to Aztraph. I hope we have been helpful. And I hope Aztraph will continue visiting this site, perhaps occasionally contributing in other threads. He might not have a chance for a final post in this thread, since the admins like to close them at around 300 messages.