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Author Topic:   Humor V
onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 85 of 647 (571831)
08-02-2010 4:40 PM
Reply to: Message 83 by Percy
08-02-2010 8:16 AM


Re: The last performance of George Carlin
Working for me too, Percy.
- Oni

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Replies to this message:
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 87 of 647 (571834)
08-02-2010 4:47 PM
Reply to: Message 86 by Straggler
08-02-2010 4:45 PM


Re: The last performance of George Carlin
And if I had read a transcript of that I would have bet money on it being one of your posts Oni.......
If you've been trying to get in my pants you just said the magic words to me!
- Oni

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Replies to this message:
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 89 of 647 (572020)
08-03-2010 10:24 AM
Reply to: Message 88 by Taz
08-02-2010 7:42 PM


Re: The last performance of George Carlin
Oni and straggler dating... imagine that... *shudders*
Dating? I'm not into relationships and things of that nature. Just raw fuckin'
- Oni

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onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 90 of 647 (572021)
08-03-2010 10:29 AM


The Next President of the US of A!
This is truly Americana at its finest. And I'm not joking, I really would LOVE to see this dude at least run for president. If he won that would be even awesomer!
Guns for everyone!
- Oni

Replies to this message:
 Message 91 by nwr, posted 08-03-2010 12:14 PM onifre has replied
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 95 of 647 (572085)
08-03-2010 5:01 PM
Reply to: Message 94 by ringo
08-03-2010 12:21 PM


Re: The Next President of the US of A!
Basil is exactly how many of us see the U.S. all the time.
I'll accept the insults from our UK posters but NEVER from a Canadian!
quote:
A train compartment had 4 people in it: two ladies, and two men, one man was American, and the other was a Canadian.
At one point the train suddenly entered a tunnel. In the darkness there was a loud 'SLAP!'
When the train emerged everyone noticed that the Canadian had a big red hand mark on his face.
The first lady thought, 'that damn Canadian must have touched that lady, and she gave him what he deserved!'
The second lady thought, 'that damn Canadian must have touched that lady, and she gave him what he deserved!'
The Canadian thought, 'that damn American must have touched one of the ladies, and she gave me what HE deserved!'
The American thought, 'I hope we enter another tunnel so I can slap the Canadian again!'

- Oni

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onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 99 of 647 (572193)
08-04-2010 1:22 PM
Reply to: Message 91 by nwr
08-03-2010 12:14 PM


Re: The Next President of the US of A!
If he wins, he will be a great source of material for comedians.
Right off the bat, the Bush Jr. comparisons would be hilarious.
Basil Marceaux and Sarah Palin as a presidential ticket. That would be a hoot.
Wasn't there a movie like that... Dumb and Dumber?
- Oni

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onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 108 of 647 (572539)
08-06-2010 11:57 AM
Reply to: Message 104 by subbie
08-06-2010 8:44 AM


but ole Basil finished dead last in the Repugnantcan primary, garnering less than 0.5% of the vote.
Worse. News. Ever
But I'm for the Palin VP possibility!
- Oni

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 Message 109 by Percy, posted 08-06-2010 2:41 PM onifre has replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 111 of 647 (572579)
08-06-2010 4:19 PM
Reply to: Message 109 by Percy
08-06-2010 2:41 PM


Aw, what a shame, ole Basil was defeated, now you comedians are going to have to work and scrape for a living just like the rest of us!
Your sarcasm is noted, but not appreciated.
You had George Bush for 8 years, and just as you thought the well was going dry Sarah Palin comes along and showers you comedians with material. And you want Basil, too? Sheesh!
Aw man, it was like seeing a unicorn, but only for a split second...
Sure we were being greedy, but a gem like him only happens once every...well, any time a republican gets elected. I pray to all that is holy that Obama continues his shit parade, then bring on the right-wing nutjob! I have my notepad at the ready*.
On a related note, I bet all you liberals were surprised that Republicans were so astute as to give ole Basil only 0.5% of the vote. Bet you thought he was a shoo-in, huh!
Well, it did disprove my theory that any retarded person, that is pro-gun and republican, would get elected in Tennessee. But, in my defense, I'm pretty sure whoever gets elected in Tennessee isn't gonna be that far off from Basil.
- Oni
*I'm one of the few comics that still writes in a notepad, most everyone else has some form of electronical device to speak into and a laptop to store material. I have 5 notepads. lol
Edited by onifre, : No reason given.

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 Message 109 by Percy, posted 08-06-2010 2:41 PM Percy has replied

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onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 113 of 647 (572600)
08-06-2010 5:35 PM
Reply to: Message 112 by Percy
08-06-2010 5:21 PM


Now I know you're lying. I saw the movie Funny People, so I know for a fact that's not true.
Ha! Quite right, they did have that in Funny People. But, Apatow and Sandler were both comics before laptops were popular - I think they wrote notepads in based on their experiences.
These days the bar at a comedy club looks like a coffee shop with all the laptops. Everyone has their set list on their iPhone or Blackberry - (or whatever new phone is out this week). I'm old school!
- Oni

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onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 129 of 647 (573693)
08-12-2010 1:28 PM


a few years back...
First joke is relevant to EvC
Not my best work but, eh...
- Oni

Replies to this message:
 Message 132 by Percy, posted 08-15-2010 8:22 AM onifre has replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 130 of 647 (574169)
08-14-2010 12:15 PM


Rrhain made a commercial?
Oh nosss, I think Rrhain has built an anti-"that's so gay" campaign and has taken his beef to the airwaves.
- Oni

Replies to this message:
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


(1)
Message 139 of 647 (574739)
08-17-2010 2:12 PM
Reply to: Message 132 by Percy
08-15-2010 8:22 AM


Re: a few years back...
Keep posting your stuff. What about this routine makes you call it, "Not your best work."
I usually call evrything I do not my best work. I think it has something to do with self-loathing, lol.
In my own opinion what weakened it most was that there were 5 or 6 instances where the comedian persona broke down for a mere second or two at most to reveal the real person. Seems contradictory, I know, since much of your material is your own life.
This was the audition, a few years back, for the Montreal Just For Laughs festival, and I was nervous. Stomach pain kinda nervous. But it was their first time seeing me perfom and I didn't want to shit the bed, which in my opinion I sorta did. I made up for it years tio come by doing a lot better. It takes 3 shots before you get into Montreal, they need to see you 3 times. This year, at the end of the year around Dec., will be my third time.
Some of the stuff I see on the Comedy channel looks like someone on stage saying gross, disgusting or profane stuff and the crowd erupts into laughter. I don't get it. I'm no prude, you might notice this site has no Forum Guidelines against profanity, but there's nothing inherently funny about being gross, disgusting or profane. If that were the case then some of my friends would be on Leno every night. So I look at these comedians getting a laugh this way and conclude that there's something I'm just not getting.
I agree, I hate some of the comedy seen on TV today. Remember though, what you are currently seeing on the Late Shows and Comedy Central, for the most part, is what was left over form the late 80's realy 90's comedy boom. The biggest boom in comedy. In the next 10-15 years, all sitcoms, Late Shows, hour HBO/Showtime performances will be from the comics of my generation. We, I feel, bring a more high-brow tone to our humor.
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


(1)
Message 152 of 647 (576603)
08-24-2010 6:05 PM


Sick! I didn't see shit.
I'm half way through the book, very interesting info.
- Oni

Replies to this message:
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 163 of 647 (577826)
08-30-2010 3:50 PM



onifre
Member (Idle past 2982 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 172 of 647 (578066)
08-31-2010 5:03 PM
Reply to: Message 165 by Shield
08-31-2010 3:19 PM


I got the number of passes right, i saw the gorilla and the colorchange.
Did you see the player leave the game or the spaceship that landed?
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
 Message 173 by Omnivorous, posted 08-31-2010 5:06 PM onifre has replied
 Message 175 by bluegenes, posted 08-31-2010 5:12 PM onifre has replied

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