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Author | Topic: Humor V | |||||||||||||||||||
Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
I caught all the monkey business.
I figured that the pass count was a smokescreen, and that they would tell me the count anyway. So I watched everything but the passes, but made a fair guess at 14. That reminds me of Ken Kesey wowing the research team when , on request, he could tell precisely when a minute had passed despite a heavy dose of LSD. He had noted his heart rate when it was measured earlier and counted beats to determine one minute. Conclusion: We monkeys are sneaky and hard to measure. Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?! -Gogol Bordello
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
For Ms. Schrafinator, wherever you are:
This next one is for Phil Plait:
Many, many thanks to xkcd.com Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?! -Gogol Bordello |
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
Superior observers notice the black-shirted team member leave.
You're just good Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?! -Gogol Bordello
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
Yeah, I had to cheat to see it.
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
onifre writes: Did you see...the spaceship that landed? You know, I hardly even notice the damned things anymore. Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?! -Gogol Bordello
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
Onifre writes: You know who did notice it? Chuck Norris! Now that's funny! Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?! -Gogol Bordello
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
bluegenes writes: Did you see God directing the whole show? Didn't everybody? Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?! -Gogol Bordello
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
Onifre writes: I pictured more of a James Earl Jones type voice for God. I have nightmares that it's Woody Allen. *shiver* Edited by Omnivorous, : No reason given.
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
bluegenes writes: If you're getting to the stage of picturing voices, you ought to stop smoking that stuff. If Woody didn't want us to smoke it, He shouldn't have created it. I figure the serpent really said, "Hey baby--wanna blunt?" I mean, who gives it up for an apple? Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?! -Gogol Bordello
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
He already doesn't believe in himself.
But if he were God, it might matter to somebody.
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
Hopefully they call him Woody for a reason, and he has something to live for...
Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?! -Gogol Bordello
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
That's not completely fair. So far as we know, only Mary claimed it was immaculate.
And how about all those cherubim and seraphim? Maybe what happens in heaven, stays in heaven. Edited by Omnivorous, : Angel added by edit. Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?! -Gogol Bordello
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
Whoa, Nellie uh...I hope that's a Nellie, though why I should seems obscure.
But we all know the real heaven is best illustrated by a northern European, blue-eyed Jesus with chestnut locks and Lolita-like cherubim. You're just quoting that clearly figurative language because you're a horned devil. Meh. The snake gets all the best lines. OK, I've played Woody's advocate long enough. I'm gonna go back to hanging with the pagans. Edited by Omnivorous, : Lolita-like cherubim: same words, different order. Edited by Omnivorous, : Gee, I wish I'd said cherubimbos. Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?! -Gogol Bordello
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
bluegenes writes: and piss smelled like wine. Huh. I guess one out of three ain't bad.
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
With Exodus' historicity and Wyatt's Wheels again under discussion, I'm reminded of the Biblical story, especially where one of Pharaoh's magicians throws down his staff and turns it into a snake.
As a child, I wondered what god had given the magician this power; surely not Yahweh, obviously, and certainly not Satan, since he was the serpent, so...? Sounded like a theological problem to me, and I treasured those. I grew up around snake handlers. They were common in Harlan County, where I had family, and occasionally visited our neighborhood of mostly Appalachian transplants in Indy. Raising the spirit on those summer nights could get pretty hot. It went something like this: Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?! -Gogol Bordello |
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