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Author | Topic: Gender and Humor | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
dronestar Member Posts: 1417 From: usa Joined: Member Rating: 7.0 |
aiki writes: but humour is extremely important in our romantic relationships Comic Jon Lovitz once said (paraphrasing): "Woman SAY they want a funny guy. Now, let me tell you, I am a funny guy. So why aren't women chasing me?" Thanks for your reply. I know you wrote you are only speaking for yourself and close female friends, but if humor is SO powerful a bonding-agent, then ultimately, why doesn't it seem more reciprocal? This thread hardly represents all men all over the world, but it does seem to indicate that woman (as perceived by men) are not as funny as men. That would SEEM to indicate that humor is LESS important to a male-female relationship. PS; OMG, Spinal Tap is FUNNY!!! On my top ten list.
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dronestar Member Posts: 1417 From: usa Joined: Member Rating: 7.0 |
Women need to be attractive, men need to be funny. Hee. Perhaps this can be the concluding statement to my thread, thanks.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4324 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
Women are attractive, that's how they get men to have sex with them. Men on the other hand are usually not very attractive, we had to come up with ways to attract females. Funny seemed to do it; funny guys get laid. If you're a guy and you're not funny, chances are you'll be very unsuccessful with women. However, if you're a woman and you're unattractive, chances are you won't be very successful with men. This may shock you, but for heterosexual women, men are attractive to look at. Not all of them by any means, but lots of them. Physical attraction is kind of necessary if you're going to have any motivation to go to bed with someone, especially if that's all you're planning to do with them. However, if you're looking for/hoping for a relationship rather than just a quick bunk-up, then you'll look a bit more deeply than appearances, and attributes like being funny become more important. In my experience, that works for men as well as women. None of my male friends have relationships with humourless, boring women, however attractive. They might have slept with some, but the women they fall in love with and settle down with are the ones with whom they can relax, laugh, be themselves.
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dronestar Member Posts: 1417 From: usa Joined: Member Rating: 7.0 |
This may shock you, but for heterosexual women, men are attractive to look at. Not all of them by any means, but lots of them. Physical attraction is kind of necessary if you're going to have any motivation to go to bed with someone, especially if that's all you're planning to do with them. However, if you're looking for/hoping for a relationship rather than just a quick bunk-up, then you'll look a bit more deeply than appearances, and attributes like being funny become more important. In my experience, that works for men as well as women. None of my male friends have relationships with humourless, boring women, however attractive. They might have slept with some, but the women they fall in love with and settle down with are the ones with whom they can relax, laugh, be themselves. Orrr, . . . perhaps THIS can be the concluding statement to my thread. Thanks for sharing aiki.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4324 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
Thanks for your reply. I know you wrote you are only speaking for yourself and close female friends, but if humor is SO powerful a bonding-agent, then ultimately, why doesn't it seem more reciprocal? This thread hardly represents all men all over the world, but it does seem to indicate that woman (as perceived by men) are not as funny as men. That would SEEM to indicate that humor is LESS important to a male-female relationship. I do think there is some sexism involved. Someone upthread posted how he dreads seeing a female stand-up coming onto stage, having decided before she even opens her mouth what she's likely to talk about and that it won't be funny. That's quite a lot of resistance for her to overcome. The popular 'how to force a man to marry you' book 'The Rules' apparently discourages its readers from being funny. You can laugh at his jokes, but whatever you do don't make any jokes of your own, it's unladylike. I'm just glad that that's not my experience. I'd feel really inadequate in a relationship if I didn't make my boyfriend laugh as much as he does me. Happily, that's never happened.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4324 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
Orrr, . . . perhaps THIS can be the concluding statement to my thread. Thanks for sharing aiki. I'm sorry, I was being a bit flippant But it does really baffle me when men don't seem to acknowledge that straight woman = someone who finds men physically attractive.
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dwise1 Member Posts: 5952 Joined: Member Rating: 5.7 |
But it does really baffle me when men don't seem to acknowledge that straight woman = someone who finds men physically attractive. I don't think that we can't acknowledge it, but rather we lack the training and experience in evaluating the attractiveness of other men, or even ourselves. So when we see the choices that women make and cannot understand what they see in those guys, we end up having to assume that it must be something other than physical attractiveness. OTOH, women do get trained in what is considered attractiveness in women and they have years of experience in comparing other women's attractiveness and their own. They even have classes -- I'm the door (register students, take their money) for a dance teacher who also does ladys' styling classes; and here I always used to believe that they just naturally walked that way and didn't need to be taught it. Considering that, I'm sure that you are also baffled by the "fashion" choices most men make. No, we don't have a clue.
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Straggler Member (Idle past 96 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined:
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But it does really baffle me when men don't seem to acknowledge that straight woman = someone who finds men physically attractive. What men find physically attractive about women seems to be quite predictable. Even allowing for "type". What women find physically attractive about men - Less so. Yes the Brad Pitts and G.Clooneys of this world are obviously female friendly. But a lot of the time men stare in bemusement at the choices blatantly attractive women make. I sometimes think you don't get the true depths of our shallowness
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onifre Member (Idle past 2982 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
This may shock you, but for heterosexual women, men are attractive to look at. Obviously... but it's important to note what exactly they're attracted too. They're not "attractive" men as in the borderline-gay Calvin Klien models or these vampire douchebags (unless they're 14 years old) - that is not attractive to most women, yet this is what is socially considered "attractive." Most women I know don't like going to male stripclubs, and if they do it's more of a party or an occasion. However.....dudes on the other hand LOVE stripclubs. We go on a random Tuesday just to stare at naked women. Women who are physically attracted to men do so for deeper reasons than a pretty face. And if it's because of the body, then there is a genetic reason why women are attracted to men who are physically fit.
None of my male friends have relationships with humourless, boring women, however attractive. Jeez you need more male friends. MOST of my friend"s women are boring and annoying as fuck! Seriously, I'm not trying to be funny at all. I can stand to be around very few of them.
They might have slept with some, but the women they fall in love with and settle down with are the ones with whom they can relax, laugh, be themselves. There wouldn't be that many divorces if things were that peachy. - Oni Edited by onifre, : No reason given.
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Straggler Member (Idle past 96 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined:
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We go on a random Tuesday just to stare at naked women. It would be depressingly funny if it were not so unequivocally true.
MOST of my friend"s women are boring and annoying as fuck! Seriously, I'm not trying to be funny at all. I can stand to be around very few of them. Guys put up with their mate's (in the British as opposed to sexual sense of the word) girlfriends. But on the whole men are more fun without their "partners" around and the girlfriends are kinda a drag. Generically speaking.
There wouldn't be that many divorces if things were that peachy. If marriage depended on that kinda peachiness there would be a lot more divorce. Guys just accept the inevitable to a large degree. Edited by Straggler, : No reason given.
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misha Member (Idle past 4659 days) Posts: 69 From: Atlanta Joined: |
1) Three Favorite Female Commedians:
- Paula Poundstone- Ellen Degeneres - Sarah Silverman in that order 2) Five Favorite Comedies - 12 Chairs (Mel Brooks)- Dumb and Dumber - Office Space - Pet Detective - Tommy Boy 3). My wife finds my particularly cheesy comedy funny. I'm fond of puns and quick witted remarks. I admire my wife's humor when it pertains to these things. I don't expect my wife to make crude jokes that i would find funny coming from a guy or act in stupidity that i find funny coming from a guy. I guess i find wittiness funny in women and either wittiness or stupidity funny in males.
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dronestar Member Posts: 1417 From: usa Joined: Member Rating: 7.0 |
Hey Misha,
I saw Paula Poundstone in Buffalo yearS ago. She was, . . . umm, . . . humorous.I like Ellen, but she doesn't make me laugh out loud, from the gut. "12 Chairs". Wow an oldie. Saw it first time many months ago. Interesting and sometimes humorous, . . . but top five on your list? Hmm, ooookay.
I guess i find wittiness funny in women and either wittiness or stupidity funny in males. I sometimes ask my male friends if their wife or girlfriend makes them laugh out loud. (Perhaps I should have polled THAT question in this thread.) After a few well thought seconds, my friends will usually answer a safe, "uhh, . . . sometimes". I hate to go all Oprah here, but the question needs to be asked, are women just as funny as men, however, men just are afraid to laugh, to show vulnerability to a . . . female? Umm, I don't think so. For the record, I would greatly prefer a girfriend who is smarter than I, funnier than I, makes more money than I, and is much, much, much, more beautiful than I.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4324 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
What women find physically attractive about men - Less so. Yes the Brad Pitts and G.Clooneys of this world are obviously female friendly. But a lot of the time men stare in bemusement at the choices blatantly attractive women make. Well, that's obviously down to penis size Really, though, I feel the same way. There are plenty of supposedly highly desirable women in the public eye whose appeal is a mystery to me. Plenty more whose appeal is quite apparent, of course.
I sometimes think you don't get the true depths of our shallowness Oh, I do. Because I share it But physical attraction, however knee-buckling, is not enough on its own to form the basis of a decent relationship. If you can't consider your partner a true friend, with whom you can laugh, cry and all the rest of it, are you not wasting your time as well as theirs? Maybe some men are content to settle for just the attraction? I think women may be better than men at managing their attractions. Most women will start to appreciate a man's looks more when they click with him personality-wise, though I'd still argue that you need to like his looks at least a bit, right from the start. Likewise, many women are good at 'unfancying' a man if they discover he is unsuitable for whatever reason (perhaps he's already married, is gay or is an arse).
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onifre Member (Idle past 2982 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
That's enough, I'm sure you're ready to burst a vein already. Dude, no Lenny, no Hicks...you don't like Ferrell, Sandler, Hartman and Lovitz. Yeah, I'm ready to burst! Lol I recently met and worked with Lovitz, first time ever and, ehh, I actually enjoyed it. At the end of his set he does a 10 min closing song tribute to Bob Saget being gay, which he's not though. Lovitz surprisingly has an amazing singing voice, if you get a chance I recommend watching his act. And, maybe the "Pee Wee" character was annoying, I was young so I actually enjoyed it, but Paul Reuben is a great actor...remember Blow with him and Johnny Depp? Reuben's did a great job. - Oni
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subbie Member (Idle past 1285 days) Posts: 3509 Joined: |
You don't like Ferrell, Sandler, Hartman and Lovitz. As far as I can tell, each of them is a one trick pony. They do virtually the same thing all the time. And for each of them, I find the thing they do annoying and not the least bit funny. But, to each their own. Never saw Blow. Did Pee Wee do something different in any way from Pee Wee? Edited by subbie, : Tyop Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity. It is the mere Abracadabra of the mountebanks calling themselves the priests of Jesus. -- Thomas Jefferson For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and non-believers. -- Barack Obama We see monsters where science shows us windmills. -- Phat
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