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Author | Topic: Gender and Humor | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
dwise1 Member Posts: 5952 Joined: Member Rating: 5.7 |
Nope. Present and accounted-for. Counted off in formation. No need to send Detective Brown out looking for them (Robot Chicken reference).
And there is no one looking over my shoulder. Divorced after 30 years. Most of my friends have always been women. Best friend is now a TTB (tech-talking babe).
You be a man and stop dancing, that's what you do. FTS! It's the only thing that helped me survive this past decade -- seriously. Besides, I get to enjoy the company of so many women -- and they're all glad to see me! What could be less gay? One of the best recent movie lines, from the American remake of Shall We dansu?:
quote: Yeah... there's also women, and ahh... cars... music... tits... ahh... oh yeah, books... movies... fishing... golf... all of which are things that are a lot more fun without chicks. Illustrative incident back in college (early 70's): While I was sitting studying in the student union, two guys sat down nearby and for 10 or 15 minutes all they could talk about was cars with bras and girls without. I just let them carry on; certainly nothing of any interest to tear me away from my Russian. Then one got up and, apparently disappointed that I hadn't joined in, remarked that they should go elsewhere to find someone to talk with. All I could think was, great!, now maybe somebody with something to actually talk about will sit down here. OK, not all guys are so devoid of mental activity, but female company is still so much more enjoyable. Not chicks, but rather real women. Edited by dwise1, : No reason given.
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onifre Member (Idle past 2982 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Hmmm, it's something I would say. That's just how my mind works - if you're going to say something sucks balls, it will carry more weight if you supply a description of the balls. But I am pleased to have said something you consider funny Damn, and she can explain it all nerdy-like too. Some more points for you.
Sure, I'm not going to get on with that type of girl either, but luckily no-one's making me hang around with them. I do think there is a UK/US divide here, the SiTC (or is it SaTC?) characters are like aliens to me. Well those aliens are typical of what we have here in the states. I meet a lot of them after shows, and trust me they are boring and annoying as fuck to deal with. So we hate the same people. Hahaha I think I'm on the wrong side of the Atlantic.
Soccer fan eh? That is THE sport of choice for most UK men and a lot of women too. I like cricket better though. Yeah that's weird, a lot of women in the states play soccer (or football ) but I don't see many follow it. Then again there are very few bars in the states that are soccer themed. Even with the latin women it's not that big of a care for the game.
Got to go to bed now, anyway. Going birdwatching in the morning - which I suspect makes me a bit less cool than shit It depends... if it's cool birds like hawks and things with talons, then it's ok. If it's gay birds like... I don't know, like colorful dainty birds, then yeah, a bit less cool than a turd. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2982 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
You be the hater, I'll be the lover. Suits me. Really? You'd enjoy happy hour listening to women talk? More than hangin' with dudes drinkin'? Are you crackin' with wise with me? - Oni
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Straggler Member (Idle past 96 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined:
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Well, that's obviously down to penis size Oh that's OK then.
Really, though, I feel the same way. There are plenty of supposedly highly desirable women in the public eye whose appeal is a mystery to me. Such as?
If you can't consider your partner a true friend, with whom you can laugh, cry and all the rest of it, are you not wasting your time as well as theirs? It depends how often you are getting blowed.
Maybe some men are content to settle for just the attraction? A lot of men would give their left testicle for a sniff of "the attraction".
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Straggler Member (Idle past 96 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined:
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And honestly I have never had a good answer to that other than, "Well, naked bitches, dude." Is there a better answer?
But even then, I didn't want her around a lot only because, even though she could hang out and be herself around guys in a cool manner, I couldn't completely be myself when she was around. I personally couldn't be "one of the guys." One of my closest friends is a girl just like that. But her boyfriends tend to absolute wusses who just get in the way. It is a severe case of role reversal with her. But she is the only one I know of her kind.
Fuck, who needs a shot and beer? Too right!! The whole two kids thing is killin me. Drink is the only rational response.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4324 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
Such as? Sarah Jessica Parker. Jordan. Miranda Raison. Helena Christensen. Note that I'm talking about faces not bodies here. A nice female body from the (general) male point of view seems to be one that's reasonably slim and youthful with sufficiently gravity-defying breasts and an arse. Plenty of those about. But the people I've listed above don't have attractive faces as far as I can see. Unlike people like Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansen and Megan Fox. Just my opinion.
It depends how often you are getting blowed. If you require frequent blow-jobs but being in a relationship would make you miserable, why not pay a professional to do the blowing as required? Maybe some kind of bulk discount could be negotiated?
A lot of men would give their left testicle for a sniff of "the attraction". That's pretty sad. So why do all these men have their relationships at all, if there's no attraction and no compatibility? Surely mindless casual sex with idiots would be the way to go.
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Hyroglyphx Inactive Member |
But don't give this bullshit about them being more fun to hang with than your male friends. Would you go out with your girlfriend or wife's friends and just hang out at a happy hour with them? Just you and them? If you would then YOU need the reality check, bro. Here's my two fucking cents... Don't spend it all in one place. Oni is painting with an awfully big brush, but makes a good point here. Sure, I like to hang out with women too because some of them are not annoying as fuck (at least not immediately). Some of my friend's wives or girlfriend's are really cool too. I like most of them. I also have female friends who are strictly platonic. That said, there is almost always sexual tension between a man and a woman. It is biological and we can't do shit to stop that except be gay, and there isn't much choice in that. I keep my female friends at a distance because the reality is that even though in my brain I have no need or want to fuck them, if I'm around them long enough my libido has no compunction with doing the deed. So why even place myself in a compromising situation if I can avoid it? Also, there is no way in hell that hanging out with your chick friends is more fun than hanging out with your boys. I don't mean your acquaintences, I mean your tried and true boys. It's like a unicorn, it just doesn't exist. Anyway, this is getting off-topic. Women can be hysterical, but in general they aren't as funny as men. Case closed. "Political correctness is tyranny with manners." -- Charlton Heston
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Straggler Member (Idle past 96 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined:
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Sarah Jessica Parker I don't know any men that keen. I thought she was more what women (wrongly) thought was female attaractive to men
Jordan Before she went the plastic route she was pretty. Now not so much.
Miranda Raison No idea who that is. Looked her up and I agree with you that there is nothing to get excited about.
Helena Christensen Do men find her that attractive? I never have. She has always struck me as the sort of woman women think men find attractive.
If you require frequent blow-jobs but being in a relationship would make you miserable, why not pay a professional to do the blowing as required? Maybe some kind of bulk discount could be negotiated? I wonder if anyone has ever tried that line of enquiry? Bulk discounts with hookers.
That's pretty sad. So why do all these men have their relationships at all, if there's no attraction and no compatibility? I was being somewhat fecetious.
Surely mindless casual sex with idiots would be the way to go. Women, even the "idiots", tend to be less compromising on that front than you seem to be allowing for. "Hi I'm a sexually desperate man and you seem like and idiot so how about it?" is not a line of seduction I would expect to have much success.
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aiki Member (Idle past 4324 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
"Hi I'm a sexually desperate man and you seem like and idiot so how about it?" is not a line of seduction I would expect to have much success. Nah, we LOVE it when men treat us in a demeaning and horrible manner. There's nothing more enchanting. I thought everyone knew that
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Hyroglyphx Inactive Member |
Note that I'm talking about faces not bodies here. A nice female body from the (general) male point of view seems to be one that's reasonably slim and youthful with sufficiently gravity-defying breasts and an arse. Plenty of those about. But the people I've listed above don't have attractive faces as far as I can see. Unlike people like Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansen and Megan Fox. Just my opinion. Attraction isn't solely in physical features, it's also in attitude and and emotion. There are a lot of "Butter faces" around (don't know if you've heard that colloquial before). A Butter Face is a chick where everything is good BUT HER FACE. In other words she has a smoking body, but her face looks like it got in to a fight with a lawnmower. I'm sure there are plenty of men that fit that category. But I tend to agree with you more than anyone else on the subject. If looks are all you've got, sorry but that isn't enough to be in a relationship with someone. First of all, looks are constantly depreciating with age. But even if they weren't, it's just not enough. The reality is, sometimes a person's attitude, sense of humor, disposition, etc makes them more attractive. I'm from Miami and L.A. There are an incalculable number of nice things to look at in those cities, but if she's got nothing going on upstairs, and she's in to shallow, materialistic bullshit, then I'll reciprocate and treat her like a walking vagina.
So why do all these men have their relationships at all, if there's no attraction and no compatibility? Surely mindless casual sex with idiots would be the way to go. People don't know what they want. Some men and women find each other somehow and it effortlessly works because they're that compatible. But most people live a life of quiet desperation where they're neither satisfied in relationships or being single. At some point they pine over the other and go in and out of cycles of shallow relationships to mindless hedonism... And then they die. The end. Wow, how macabre! "Political correctness is tyranny with manners." -- Charlton Heston
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aiki Member (Idle past 4324 days) Posts: 43 Joined: |
There are a lot of "Butter faces" around (don't know if you've heard that colloquial before). A Butter Face is a chick where everything is good BUT HER FACE. In other words she has a smoking body, but her face looks like it got in to a fight with a lawnmower. I'm sure there are plenty of men that fit that category. A UK equivalent is 'Body from Baywatch, face from Crimewatch'. Yes, it applies to plenty of men too. I'm a little disturbed by the mental image of a 'walking vagina'. But I appreciate your wider point. It's a pity that women don't always realise that being nice to look at isn't enough, if you want a man to actually like you rather than just want to hump you. I'm off to a (female) friend's house to watch DVDs. I'm taking 'Team America - World Police'. No doubt we will sit in grim and stony-faced silence through all the knob and arse gags
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Buzsaw Inactive Member |
Without women, men would fail in just about everything. The woman thingy is to be the help mate for the man, according to The Genesis Biblical record.
Get a man in the presence of one or more beautiful women and their very presence brings out the best in the man. Be it chess, math, mechanics, techy, leadership; you name it; by and large (I say by and large) the male predominates. From the prospective of a male, that's not boasting; that's factual. Nevertheless, having said the above, be it memory, both long and short term, be it the ability to manipulate, seduce and persuade, be it loveliness, be it untangling a line and threading a needle, be it intuition as well as some other things that don't come to mind at the moment, the woman excells. BUZSAW B 4 U 2 C Y BUZ SAW. The immeasurable present eternally extends the infinite past and infinitely consumes the eternal future.
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Rrhain Member Posts: 6351 From: San Diego, CA, USA Joined: |
And yet, the most famous examples of humor are from women:
Fanny Brice from the FolliesKatherine Hepburn in Bringing Up Baby Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball from television George Burns didn't become funny until he and Gracie Allen flipped the act so that she was delivering the punch lines. The idea that women aren't funny simply doesn't withstand analysis. 9 to 5Bringing Up Baby What's Up, Doc? Rrhain Thank you for your submission to Science. Your paper was reviewed by a jury of seventh graders so that they could look for balance and to allow them to make up their own minds. We are sorry to say that they found your paper "bogus," specifically describing the section on the laboratory work "boring." We regret that we will be unable to publish your work at this time. Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can use mine.
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Rrhain Member Posts: 6351 From: San Diego, CA, USA Joined: |
Buzsaw writes:
quote: (*chuckle*) Not even close. The most influential rulers from our own heritage? Elizabeth IVictoria Catherine Columbus managed to get his voyage because of Isabella, not Ferdinand. The idea that it is men who make the best rulers simply doesn't bear scrutiny.
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Straggler Member (Idle past 96 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined:
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Straggler writes: "Hi I'm a sexually desperate man and you seem like an idiot so how about it?" is not a line of seduction I would expect to have much success. Nah, we LOVE it when men treat us in a demeaning and horrible manner. There's nothing more enchanting. I thought everyone knew that Demeaning and horrible - I know many women that have inexplicably put up with that for periods of time. Sexually desperate men - No way Jose. Girls can smell that whiff of desperation a mile off and nothing seems to be more of a turn off.
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