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Author | Topic: Humour VII | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
frako Member (Idle past 336 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
but we're funny how, you mean funny like we're clowns, we amuse you? You hit the nail on the head right there
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Shield Member (Idle past 2892 days) Posts: 482 Joined:
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Get the fuck out of here, Tomm^H^H^H^H Onifre!
Edited by rbp, : No reason given.
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined:
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Ya motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. RBP, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Frako. You may fold under questioning.
- Oni
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frako Member (Idle past 336 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
You may fold under questioning. I will zell you nothing, you will never find out from me that nazis are comming from the dark side of the moon to take over the planet. *Currently watching iron sky*
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fearandloathing Member (Idle past 4175 days) Posts: 990 From: Burlington, NC, USA Joined: |
It is a "Goodfellas" thing.
Goodfellas - Wikiquote ( read the dialogue section) Edited by fearandloathing, : No reason given.A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves. ― Edward R. Murrow "You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them" - Ray Bradbury
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined:
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Shit I didn't even think Frako had no idea what I was talking about.
Frako it's a classic scene from one of the best mob movies EVER! - Oni
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fearandloathing Member (Idle past 4175 days) Posts: 990 From: Burlington, NC, USA Joined:
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He should just be glad he didn't tell you to GFY.
A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves. ― Edward R. Murrow "You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them" - Ray Bradbury
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Shield Member (Idle past 2892 days) Posts: 482 Joined:
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If he had said that, i would have had respect for the kid. I'd think he had a lot of fucking balls. It would have been good for him. Don't take no shit off nobody.
Edited by rbp, : No reason given.
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frako Member (Idle past 336 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
Never watched it, to old a movie for me heh was 4 years old when it came out never caught it on tv and never downloaded it. Must not be that good then
im more of a sy fy fan downloaded basically everything there is to watch that is sy fy related
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fearandloathing Member (Idle past 4175 days) Posts: 990 From: Burlington, NC, USA Joined: |
It is a great movie, based on a true story (Henry Hill recently passed away). Gangster/Mob movies/history may be an American thing though??
A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves. ― Edward R. Murrow "You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them" - Ray Bradbury
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Shield Member (Idle past 2892 days) Posts: 482 Joined:
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Must not be that good then Thats just fucking blasphemy. You never saw Goodfellas? Did you at least watch Casino and Donnie Brasco? Or any of the mob classics. IMHO, Casino is without a doubt the best movie made. It stars both Bob De Niro and Joe Pesci as Goodfellas does.
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Tangle Member Posts: 9516 From: UK Joined: Member Rating: 5.1
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Higgs Boson walks into a church.
Priest says "We don't allow Higgs Bosons in here!" Higgs Boson says "But without me, how do you have mass?"Life, don't talk to me about life - Marvin the Paranoid Android |
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kjsimons Member Posts: 822 From: Orlando,FL Joined: Member Rating: 5.7 |
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Briterican Member (Idle past 3979 days) Posts: 340 Joined: |
Follow this link to Amazon's UK site and scroll down to the product reviews at the bottom. ... or, read my pasting of them below
Page Not Found Most Helpful Customer Reviews 21,751 of 21,890 people found the following review helpfulDO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS 24 Jan 2012 By Andrew Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS. (I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)1,006 Comments | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No 2,961 of 3,008 people found the following review helpfulLOCATION LOCATION LOCATION 17 April 2012 By The Cantankerous Tiger I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product. Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that. However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children. All in all an effective and reasonably priced product - 3 Stars.72 Comments | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No 1,554 of 1,582 people found the following review helpfulIncreased Sports Performance Bonus 24 April 2012 By Tagnutt Mandeville As a highly competitive amateur athlete, I have long been aware of the benefits of a highly polished scrotum pole and hair-free saddle-bags, especially when going for the `longer look' as displayed by Linford in his famous lunchbox. Previously I had used the old-school method of a cutthroat razor, but as you can imagine, this was a tricky and delicate operation, and to make matters worse, it was difficult to get into a comfortable position in the chair at my local Barbers. Anyway, I am quite hairy down there and my snippet valve looks like Brian May's plughole so eventually the Barber said he could no longer perform the task for me. He also said that looking up my whizzer every Saturday at 11:30 put him off his lunch, as he usually has toad-in-the-hole followed by chocolate-coated donuts as a Saturday treat. He did not want to leave me in the lurch and said that he had read some excellent reviews on Amazon about Veet for men and suggested I give it try. Like many other reviewers, I made the mistake of not reading the bumph properly; I used the whole tube and completely coated my cock eggs, barse and nipsy with the stuff. Anyway, I lost track of time, and it was the foul stench of dissolving clinkers and melting hair that brought me to my senses. As I looked at my watch through the putrid fog that had formed around me, I could see that it had been applied for exactly 5 minutes 59 seconds. This presented me with a problem, as when the searing pain began, I was outside my flat, sat in the communal gardens, in a deck chair precisely 100 meters and 3 flights of stairs away from my bathroom. It was as if I had lowered my under-carriage through a volcano and into Hades, whereupon Beelzebub, annoyed by the uninvited intrusion, jabbed me in the rectum with his fork. I took off from the deckchair like Usain Bolt out of the TV adverts. Within 12 seconds, the bathroom was filled with steamy fetid barse broth, and I had the clock weights, biffin's-bridge and Sherriff's badge under ice-cold running water at the tap end of the bath. This did not please the missus, as she was relaxing in there at the time surrounded by floating petals and candles, although she did say that the sight of my ringpiece flashing like a brake light was impressive, and she was pleased to see that my arse barnacles had all but disappeared. When I looked at my watch again, I realised how quickly I had made it up the stairs and the idea dawned on me that I had discovered a 100% legal sports performance enhancer. Now when I compete in a competition I dab a small amount around my Samantha Janus and taint exactly 6 minutes before the race is due to start. If I am doing the hurdles, I change the ratio and put more on my barse to make me jump higher. This proved to be particularly effective a couple of weeks ago, as after crossing the hurdles finish line, I accidentally won the high jump and steeple chase too, looking for the water jump to wash the stuff off. Now I can hear you all thinking that none of this is particularly extraordinary, especially given the reviews that you have already read. However, when I tell you that I am 45 years old, 5' 4" tall and weigh 15 stone, and I used to do the shot-put that should put things into context. As this is an Olympic year I think Tagnutt and Mandeville or whatever their names are, should be redesigned with hairless nether-regions and the British squad should use my technique and be sponsored by Veet, although I don't recommend it for the beach volley ball team. 5 Stars from me. Edited by Briterican, : No reason given.
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ringo Member (Idle past 442 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
... my Samantha Janus....
Nice use of rhyming slang. I'd have given full points if he'd left off the rhyming part and just called it, "my Samantha." Also, nice references to Usain Bolt and (I presume) Linford Christie.
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