|
Register | Sign In |
|
QuickSearch
Thread ▼ Details |
|
|
Author | Topic: Humour VII | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined:
|
Coyote writes:
There's no inaction like inspired inaction, spurred on by enthusiastic apathy and prompt procrastination.
... politically-inspired inaction....
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined:
|
Omnivorous writes:
At one time or another I have worked for the Post Office and the RCMP. Both of them fingerprinted me and both of them, in the true spirit of bureaucracy, managed to lose my fingerprint records. Ever since, I have endeavored to leave trace evidence of wrongdoing in order to protect myself. The RCMP lost them twice. The third time they fingerprinted me, the officer told me that he couldn't find any ridges on my fingertips. (I mentioned that I sometimes do carpentry/woodwork so they might have been worn away by handling rough lumber and/or sandpaper.) So I might have been a master criminal - until DNA was invented.
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Safety first.
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined:
|
RAZD writes:
Yes, they certainly kilt that rule.
that's one way to skirt the issue ...
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined:
|
A travelling salesman stopped at a farm and as he was chatting with the farmer, a pig drove a tractor into the yard pulling a cultivator. As the salesman watched, the pig unhitched the cultivator and drove the tractor into the shed, then came out and went into the house.
"That's quite a pig," the salesman commented. "Yep," the farmer agreed, "He does most of the field work, he repairs all of the equipment and he does the books too." "Amazing." The salesman shook his head. "I couldn't help but notice that he has a wooden leg." "Yep," the farmer nodded. "When you have a good pig like that, you don't want to eat him all at once."
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
A group of [insert ethnic stereotype here] decided to spend the evening celebrating, so they piled into the car and headed for town. As they approached civilization, they noticed a sign that said, "Maximum 30," so they pulled over and ten of them got out.
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
Catholic Scientist writes:
He looks familiar. Bill Hicks (I'm not surprised that Alabamians go to a UFO sighting armed. Most Americans go to the supermarket armed, don't they?)
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
There are security guards at the public library but not at the bank.
I guess we have a more intellectual criminal element than other nations.
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
onifre writes:
I'll keep that in mind. It's only a hundred miles to the border. I speak of course of Wallmart - the one stop shopping for food, clothing and guns. It's like a zombie apocalypse refuge. ABE: I don't think you can even get a pellet gun at Walmart in Canada. You have to go to Canadian Tire. Edited by ringo, : Aded zinger.
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined:
|
quote:I saw the pageant on TV. The labcoat competition was disappointing.
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
A true renaissance man. That was worth untangling my earphones for.
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
xongsmith writes:
I take that sitting down.
What kind of humour thread would it be if our resident standup wasn't winning?
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
Faith writes:
What's the difference between a microscope and a telescope?
Just the usual lie that creationists deny MICROevolution.
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
Faith writes:
Really? A tube with lenses at both ends - which one is that? There's a rather large difference, actually, what's your point? The differences are in the details, not the fundamentals.
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 443 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
Faith writes:
I'm looking at you through the big end of a telescope.
Uh huh, that's YOUR point of view, my point was that you ignore your opponents' point of view.
|
|
|
Do Nothing Button
Copyright 2001-2023 by EvC Forum, All Rights Reserved
Version 4.2
Innovative software from Qwixotic © 2024