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Author | Topic: Humour VII | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Heathen Member (Idle past 1313 days) Posts: 1067 From: Brizzle Joined:
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this reminds me of the Uxbridge English dictionary which originates on a radio panel show called "I'm sorry I don't have a clue" on BBC radio4
http://www.alspcs.com/main.html here's a few samples: AbominableTo initate the countdown timer on an explosive device. AlgorismWell known saying of an American enviromental campaigner. ArtichokeAn allergy to paintings. HerbivoreAn animal that only eats Volks Wagon Beetles. KindredFear of one's own family. ThinkingA slim monarch.
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1435 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined:
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Protagonist: someone who thinks everything should be tagged.
Molecular: icky like a mole.
Operatunist: someone that listens to opera.
Problematical: problems that can only be dealt with in attics. Enjoy.by our ability to understand Rebel American Zen Deist ... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ... to share. Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined:
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Still miss him. Coolest voice in comedy.
- Oni
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ringo Member (Idle past 442 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
RAZD writes: Operatunist: someone that listens to opera. Piano Tuna: fish 'n' musician
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1435 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: |
thought it seemed familiar
WPM Invitational | Word Play Masters Enjoyby our ability to understand Rebel American Zen Deist ... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ... to share. Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)
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New Cat's Eye Inactive Member
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Benign....................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria..................Back door to cafeteria. Barium....................What you do with dead folks. Cesarean Section.....A neighborhood in Rome. Catscan...................Searching for the cat. Cauterize.................Made eye contact with her. Colic........................A sheep dog. Coma......................A punctuation mark. D&C........................Where Washington is. Dilate......................To live longer than your kids do. Enema....................Not a friend. Fester.....................Quicker than someone else. Fibula......................A small lie. G.I.Series................World Series of military baseball. Hangnail........... ......What you hang your coat on. Hospital..................The biggest building in town Impotent.................Distinguished, well known. Labor Pain...............Getting hurt at work. Morbid....................A higher offer than I bid. Nitrates..................Cheaper than day rates. Medical Staff...........A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake. Node......................I knew it. Outpatient..............A person who has fainted. Pap Smear..............A fatherhood test. Pelvis.....................Second cousin to Elvis. Post Operative........A letter carrier. Recovery Room.......Place to do upholstery. Secretion................Hiding something Tablet.....................A small table to change babies on. Seizure...................Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section. Terminal Illness.......Getting sick at the train station. Tumor.....................More than one. Urine......................Opposite of mine. Varicose.................Near by.
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1435 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: |
Microorganism - the belief in very fine scale organizing of things to assist micromanagement
Enjoyby our ability to understand Rebel American Zen Deist ... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ... to share. Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)
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1.61803 Member (Idle past 1534 days) Posts: 2928 From: Lone Star State USA Joined:
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There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he loved to play Golf.
One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whooping and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all. He started thinking, "what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with." There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life. He hurried down and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he lost one of his arms and felt useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms. The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels again. He asked, 'Why are you so happy anyway?' He said, 'I'm NOT happy. My balls itch." "You were not there for the beginning. You will not be there for the end. Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative" William S. Burroughs
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New Cat's Eye Inactive Member
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Its like this guy in handcuffs:
http://youtu.be/fqjWW-sahMg
quote:
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Percy Member Posts: 22505 From: New Hampshire Joined: Member Rating: 5.4
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--Percy
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Granny Magda Member Posts: 2462 From: UK Joined: Member Rating: 4.1
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Countryside - to kill Piers Morgan.
Mutate and Survive
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Jon Inactive Member
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This is what the man who won the mega millions did with his money...
While leaving the bank, having just cashed his check of many checks, he sees a beautiful woman pass him with the most lovely breasts he's ever seen. "Oh beautiful woman," he says, "I just have to bite those nipples... I'll pay you $100 if you let me bite your nipples!" "Ewe... no way!" She keeps walking. He runs around the block to catch up with her at the corner. When they meet again, he asks her: "Oh... will you let me bite them for $1000!?" "Hey... listen here, pal. I'm not that kind of woman," she says. "The answer is still 'no'". She begins crossing the street and continues down the next block. Again the man circles the block to catch up to her at the next corner. "I'm serious, buddy", the woman starts in. "But I'll pay you $10,000 if you let me bite them!"
Ten thousand dollars? She begins to think to herself, that sure is an awful lot of money... "What the hell," she says. "But not here... not where everyone can see us. Let's go in this ally over here." They walk together into the ally where she removes her shirt and lifts her bra. As the man had anticipated, she has the most beautiful breasts he's ever seen with absolutely amazing nipples. He begins caressing the woman's breasts. Rubbing them. Squeezing them. He puts his face in between them. He holds them. A few minutes pass... the woman begins to get impatient. "Hey now, I'm in somewhat of a hurry," she says, "are you gonna hurry up and bite these things or not?" "Nah..." replies the man, "that costs too much." Edited by Jon, : No reason given.Love your enemies! |
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1435 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: |
counterstrike - to slam down on the bar surface.
by our ability to understand Rebel American Zen Deist ... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ... to share. Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)
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Phat Member Posts: 18350 From: Denver,Colorado USA Joined: Member Rating: 1.0 |
Edited by Phat, : fixed link
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nwr Member Posts: 6412 From: Geneva, Illinois Joined: Member Rating: 5.3
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Jesus was a liberal hippie |
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