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Author | Topic: Humour VII | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
frako Member (Idle past 335 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
And bow ties are cool, and bananas are good. Edited by frako, : No reason given.
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Coyote Member (Idle past 2136 days) Posts: 6117 Joined:
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frako Member (Idle past 335 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined:
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dunno ifi posted this guy before but he is awsome
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Shield Member (Idle past 2892 days) Posts: 482 Joined:
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Star Trek is Awesome.
It even handles well, mixed with Monty Python:
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frako Member (Idle past 335 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
Dang these courts and their method of writing.
got woken up this morning by the postman had to sign for a letter from court. Still groggy i opened it and i was invited to a court proceeding involving ..(there was a full name of bloke)because of punishable acts 141, 300, 217 Penal Code - 1 I was like what the fuck did i do again, and the penal code damm that's bad those things have prison sentences. I fire up my computer to check what the fuck i did141 - basically braking and entering WTF when where 300 - attacking an official person doing his duties of security .... WTFFFFFFF 217 - basicly buying Stolen goods what!!! Not having the slightest clue what is going on and almost shitting my pants i recheck the letter and at the very top it said INVITATIONthen bellow in very small letters to the victim Now im still not sure what this is about but a few years ago i had 2 chainsaws stolen it could possibly be involving this or a noter incident also around 2 years ago a gypsy stole some metal from me i caught him in the act and as he fled i took down his licence and registration, he got caught 2 minutes after he sold the 10 EUR worth of metal and i decided to prosecuted do to principle.Now if it is this guy he is so screwed and over 10 EUR worth of metal lol he was on parrole when he did the crime, and for each of those charges you can get jail time. 141- possible 1 year in jail, 300- 6 months to 3 years, 217 - to 2 years. All over 10 euros worth of scrap. |
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Artemis Entreri  Suspended Member (Idle past 4258 days) Posts: 1194 From: Northern Virginia Joined:
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SMD B
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onifre Member (Idle past 2980 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
- Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2980 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined:
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Here's my favorite Jim Jefferies story with the late Patrice Oneal.
- Oni
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rueh Member (Idle past 3691 days) Posts: 382 From: universal city tx Joined:
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Two dyslexics run into a bank and shout:
Air in the hands, mother stickers! This is a fuck up! 'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat' The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX It takes all kinds to make a mess- Benjamin Hoff |
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fearandloathing Member (Idle past 4175 days) Posts: 990 From: Burlington, NC, USA Joined: |
"No sympathy for the devil; keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride...and if it occasionally gets a little heavier than what you had in mind, well...maybe chalk it off to forced conscious expansion: Tune in, freak out, get beaten." Hunter S. Thompson Ad astra per aspera Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione. |
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fearandloathing Member (Idle past 4175 days) Posts: 990 From: Burlington, NC, USA Joined: |
A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves. ― Edward R. Murrow
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Minnemooseus Member Posts: 3945 From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior) Joined: Member Rating: 10.0
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bluescat48 Member (Idle past 4219 days) Posts: 2347 From: United States Joined:
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She got that right.
There is no better love between 2 people than mutual respect for each other WT Young, 2002 Who gave anyone the authority to call me an authority on anything. WT Young, 1969 Since Evolution is only ~90% correct it should be thrown out and replaced by Creation which has even a lower % of correctness. W T Young, 2008
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bluescat48 Member (Idle past 4219 days) Posts: 2347 From: United States Joined:
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Correct. Why is this in humour? that is reality.
Edited by bluescat48, : spThere is no better love between 2 people than mutual respect for each other WT Young, 2002 Who gave anyone the authority to call me an authority on anything. WT Young, 1969 Since Evolution is only ~90% correct it should be thrown out and replaced by Creation which has even a lower % of correctness. W T Young, 2008
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ringo Member (Idle past 441 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined:
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Once upon a time there was a grad student who was given the opportunity to speak before a symposium of the nation's most prominent physicists. His assigned topic was, "What is an electron?"
He composed his speech carefully, "An electron is a concept which has changed over the course of time. Electrons were once thought to be distributed evenly throughout the atom like currants in a plum pudding. Later, they were believed to orbit the nucleus like tiny planets. Later still, they were understood to occupy discrete regions of space called orbitals," and so on. He was nervous about the prospect so he rehearsed his speech thoroughly. As he looked in the mirror while shaving, he repeated, "An electron is a concept which has changed over the course of time...." As he ate breakfast, he repeated "An electron is a concept which has changed over the course of time," which annoyed his girlfriend. On the bus he repeated, "An electron is a concept which has changed over the course of time," which guaranteed him a seat by himself. Finally, the big day arrived. He stood up before his august audience and began, "An electron is a concept...." and his mind went completely blank. He couldn't remember another word. He was about to break out in a cold sweat when one distinguished old scientist in the audience began to applaud. One by one, the others joined him until finally they all rose in a standing ovation. An electron is a concept. Stop there and you avoid putting your foot in your mouth.
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