The list of kinds provided by Tusko had me ROTFLMFAO
1.those that belong to the Emperor,
2.embalmed ones,
3.those that are trained,
4.suckling pigs,
5.mermaids,
6.fabulous ones,
7.stray dogs,
8.those included in the present classification,
9.those that tremble as if they were mad,
10.innumerable ones,
11.those drawn with a very fine camelhair brush,
12.others,
13.those that have just broken a flower vase,
14.those that from a long way off look like flies.
This reminded me of the Eddy Izzard skit on St Paul's letter to the Corinthians
I paraphrase from memory
"Don't do bad things, always do good things...Never put jam on a magnet, never put a sock in a toaster, (takes drag on joint) never lean over on a Tuesday.....
Love and kisses
Paul (Saint)
Address
The Corinthians ....errrrrrrrrrrr...Corinth
The reply then starts
Dear Paul (Saint, apparently)
Fuck off!!! Who do you think you are, addressing a letter to an entire city....just Fuck off (there's more which I can't remember)
love and kisses
Steve the Corinthian, John the Corinthian......
Address
Paul....errrrrrrrrrr Outside Corinth.