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Author | Topic: Humor IV | |||||||||||||||||||||||
Percy Member Posts: 22503 From: New Hampshire Joined: Member Rating: 4.9 |
cavediver writes: Yeah, we don't make our good stuff available to rogue states. Pay the 200 years of back-tax owed, and we'll send you a working link. This already happened around the turn of the millennium. This has probably been posted before, but in case anyone missed it:
Dear Citizens of America, In view of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next. Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
Thank you for your co-operation. John Cleese So cough up the video! --Percy
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Larni Member Posts: 4000 From: Liverpool Joined: |
Wonderfull! Apart from the bit about therapist
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Shield Member (Idle past 2891 days) Posts: 482 Joined: |
I Will Derive!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9dpTTpjymE&eurl=http://i... The funniest video i ever saw. A song about math problems. Cameo appearence by TI-83
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1433 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: |
especially if you lived in Toronto ...
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Taz Member (Idle past 3320 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
First of all, I'd like to thank you for that link to that vid. Because that link led me to the best youtube vid I've ever seen in my life.
My Humps about Calculus I'd also like to make clear about something. Those two geeks in your vid there do not represent all us physics majors. When I was in college, half of us in the physics department played some kind of sports. Some of us would meet each other at the student rec at least 3 times a week to workout. As a matter of fact, at least at the school where I went, physics students were a lot more physically fit than any other science student body. Not all of us were nerds! In fact, my philosophy is if you're going to major in physics you have to be able to chest bench at least 120% of your body weight and run a mile in 5 minutes. If you can't do either of those, you might as well go for a math or biology degree. Now, those are real nerds. I'm trying to see things your way, but I can't put my head that far up my ass.
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Rrhain Member Posts: 6351 From: San Diego, CA, USA Joined: |
Just to throw water:
Baseball is played in Canada. Now, I know that the Brits don't quite own as much of the world as they used to, but Canada is still part of the Commonwealth and is not just "North North Dakota" or "Southern Alaska." And a five-minute mile is Olympic marathon pace. That's a bit much to ask of anyone. And while Tom Lehrer is god, Stanislaw Lem is at least an avatar. From Cyberiad (originally written in Polish...his translator, Michael Kandel, is owed a tremendous debt to capture the intent so perfectly, which only goes to show that yes, anything can be translated), a poem on love and tensor algebra:
Come, let us hasten to a higher plane, Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn, Their indices bedecked from one to n, Commingled in an endless Markov chain! Come, every frustum longs to be a cone,And every vector dreams of matrices. Hark to the gentle gradient of the breeze: It whispers of a more ergodic zone. In Riemann, Hilbert, or in Banach spaceLet superscripts and subscripts go their ways. Our asymptotes no longer out of phase, We shall encounter, counting, face to face. I'll grant thee random access to my heart,Thou'lt tell me all the constants of thy love; And so we two shall all love's lemmas prove, And in our bound partition never part. For what did Cauchy know, or Christoffel,Or Fourier, or any Boole or Euler, Wielding their compasses, their pens and rulers, Of thy supernal sinusoidal spell? Cancel me not -- for what then shall remain?Abscissas, some mantissas, modules, modes, A root or two, a torus and a node: The inverse of my verse, a null domain. Ellipse of bliss, converge, O lips divine!The product of our scalars is defined! Cyberiad draws nigh, and the skew mind Cuts capers like a happy haversine. I see the eigenvalue in thine eye,I hear the tender tensor in thy sigh. Bernoulli would have been content to die, Had he but known such a2cos2f! And then there was the following equation that used to be on my business cards: (∫1sqrt(3)z dz) cos(3p/9) = ln(sqrt(e)) Or in words: The integral of z dzFrom 1 to the square root of 3 Times the cosine Of 3 pi over 9 Equals natural log square root of e Rrhain Thank you for your submission to Science. Your paper was reviewed by a jury of seventh graders so that they could look for balance and to allow them to make up their own minds. We are sorry to say that they found your paper "bogus," specifically describing the section on the laboratory work "boring." We regret that we will be unable to publish your work at this time. |
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Rrhain Member Posts: 6351 From: San Diego, CA, USA Joined: |
I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC:
The Potter Puppet Pals: Rrhain Thank you for your submission to Science. Your paper was reviewed by a jury of seventh graders so that they could look for balance and to allow them to make up their own minds. We are sorry to say that they found your paper "bogus," specifically describing the section on the laboratory work "boring." We regret that we will be unable to publish your work at this time. |
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Shield Member (Idle past 2891 days) Posts: 482 Joined: |
You almost make it sounds like those two guys appearance is a bad thing?
personally, i think, that guys like those two, who do not care about physical appearance, sports and other distractions from their primary interest, are the future rulers of this world. Dont get me wrong, social life, sports and so forth, can be an important part of life, but if youre geeky enough to not care about those things, chances are, you'll become greater than those who did care.
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Granny Magda Member Posts: 2462 From: UK Joined: Member Rating: 3.8 |
Couldn't resist posting this...
For more such nonsense, I heartily recommend http://www.adam-buxton.co.uk and also the Adam and Joe show on BBC 6Music, Saturday mornings. Mutate and Survive
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bluescat48 Member (Idle past 4218 days) Posts: 2347 From: United States Joined: |
utterly hilarious
There is no better love between 2 people than mutual respect for each other WT Young, 2002 Who gave anyone the authority to call me an authority on anything. WT Young, 1969
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bluegenes Member (Idle past 2506 days) Posts: 3119 From: U.K. Joined: |
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Taz Member (Idle past 3320 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
I'm trying to see things your way, but I can't put my head that far up my ass.
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Granny Magda Member Posts: 2462 From: UK Joined: Member Rating: 3.8 |
Funny old world. Right after watching your "no news" video, in the wee small hours of this morning, I watched an old episode of the splendid TV show QI and one of the quite interesting facts up for discussion was that on the 18th of April 1930 there really was no news.
The BBC radio service couldn't find anything to report, so they simply announced "Ladies and gentlemen, there is no news this evening, so here is some music."! It seems that nothing much happened that day. There was the "Chittagong Rebellion" in India, but that didn't happen until 10pm, too late for the UK news. If you've not come across QI before, I recommend giving it a watch. It's a comedy panel game, where the questions are fiendishly difficult, the contestants are awarded points for being quite interesting and penalised for being unoriginal or for uttering popular misconceptions. You can watch them here. Mutate and Survive
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Taz Member (Idle past 3320 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
I'm trying to see things your way, but I can't put my head that far up my ass. |
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Stephen Junior Member (Idle past 5797 days) Posts: 7 From: Charleston, SC, USA Joined: |
The My humps for calculus was hilarious.
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